20 Things I Would Rather Do Than See Fast & Furious

By Maddie

Fast & Furious, the 4th in the Vin Diesel movie series, has grossed 118 million dollars since it opened on April 3rd. That’s a lot of money, right? To put that into perspective: it had the best opening of any film so far this year. It even broke the record of opening weekend gross by any car-themed film! The film that previously held the record? Cars! Here is a list of things I would rather do than see this (assuredly) horrible film. And this is not (totally) because I am biased since Cars is one of my favorite films of all time.

1. Go to church
2. Listen to “Fly” by Sugar Ray
3. Watch Dane Cook’s HBO special “Vicious Circle”
4. Have the Drudge Report as my homepage
5. Go to a Dave Matthews concert
6. Wear Uggs
7. Run a mile (or workout in general. Or really just be “outdoors.”)
8. Watch this video three times in a row:

9. Know the words to a 311 song
10. Ask for a “Family Guy” DVD for my birthday
11. Have someone tell me their “crazy” dream from last night
12. Write the paper I should be working on instead of forming this list
13. Read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
14. Make, then wear, a hemp necklace
15. Give Glenn (Beck) a kiss on the cheek
16. Have this quote listed under my “Favorite Quotations” on Facebook:

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

Proverbs 16:3
17. Go to a party at a fraternity house and actually enjoy myself
18. Have Jane Austen be my favorite writer
19. Bid for “Promo CD Single - Brad Paisley/Keith Urban Start A Band” on EBay
20. See the Fast & the Furious


  1. I've never actually read Jane Austen, but I love the movie Emma. Great article.

  2. if i were held at gunpoint and ordered to pick between F & the F or #16, i would probably choose death! that's how much i hate those things! or, really, anything on this list.

  3. I hate everything on the list except for Jane Austen. I'd just switch the Jane Austen one for "Watch the extended version of the second Lord of the Rings movie."

  4. I've watched that video at least 100 times since it premiered last year, a.

    We have to legalize hemp, b.

  5. jane austen is so much more boring than lord of the rings! glenn voted for hillary because of the hillary4u&me video!

  6. I have never read Austen, unless you count Stone Cold Steve Austin's biography. I just like the movie Emma.

  7. stone cold steve austin's biography definitely counts.

  8. 19. Bid for “Promo CD Single - Brad Paisley/Keith Urban Start A Band” on EBay

    Wait a minute, you DID this one Maddie!

    This was funny

  9. I have made and worn several hemp necklaces.

    But all 20 of those are fantastic.

  10. are you SURE you would rather learn a 311 song? that's really extreme...

  11. The first concert I ever went to was Incubus, Sugar Ray and 311. I was 13.

  12. bub- that was for a tim mcgraw rarity. that is TOTALLY different!!!