Hello, Good Morning

By Maddie

Good morning peers. I hope you all had a lovely Memorial Day off work. Did you enjoy spending time with your families? I kind of did. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I need to address what you're all thinking ("Wow, Maddie - I mean Madeline - you seem much more mature this morning!"). Your thoughts are valid seeing as I turned twenty over the weekend. When I Googled "20 year old," this was the first image I got:
I'm not exactly sure what it means, but if it's any indication of what it's like to be in your twenties, I can't fucking wait.

I Love a Millionaire
Millionaire by Mekons is so mature. There is nothing more adult than loving millionaires, except maybe taking out a mortgage or raising a child. The video is pretty cool, and the song is one of the best by Mekons. Highlight: "Dreaming of a creature who is too pale and large to stand, and only feels the terror of his vain flight from earth." And you thought you were the only one who dreamed of people too pale and large to stand!

Constant Sorrow

You know who else had a birthday over the weekend? Bob Dylan. If fate existed, I would say that our similar dates of birth were fated. Since it doesn't, I guess I'll just say it's kind of cool. "Man of Constant Sorrow" is a very mature song because all adults are filled with sorrow. I've always loved being sung to about sorrow, but now that I've reached twenty, I feel like I can appreciate it even more. Although not in Bob's recording, the traditional version of this song contains the lyric, "No pleasure here on earth I find/ For in this world I'm bound to ramble/ I have no friends to help me now." If that isn't a 23-word definition of adulthood, I'd love for someone to tell me what is.

Funny/Mature Poem

Nothing is more mature than "art" and "poetry," so here is one of my favorite poems:

Epigram Engraved on the Collar of a Dog Which I Gave to His Royal Highness

I am his Highness' dog at Kew;
Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?
-Alexander Pope

It's only 12:01 AM and I'm falling asleep while writing this. I guess I really am getting old. I'm gonna go to bed now (in about an hour and 40ish mins), get up early (9:00 AM), drink coffee (I don't really like it), do my taxes (I don't even know if that joke makes sense), book a Royal Caribbean cruise to Barbados (I don't like boats or beaches), and renew my subscription to the AARP (I don't know if the AARP is something you can subscribe to). I hope your mornings are just as exciting!


  1. Happy birthday, Madeline. As you find yourself on the threshold of this new step in life, remember, prune juice works wonders.

  2. happy be-it-lated birthday! wow, lated is a word according to my spell-checker.
    i <3 this post immensley. and you always re-new my love and affection for bob dylan. not re-new, sorry, re-kindle, i meant. re-kindle. thanks maddie.

  3. I love the Mekons and I love this very mature article. Now that you're 20 we can talk about adult contemporary like Natlie Merchant and Sarah Mclauchlin.

  4. Tina is the hottest young thing on this site now that you're a 20 year old hag!