A Lot Can Go Down Between Thursday and Saturday...

By Maddie




For most people, Friday's just the day before the weekend. But after this Friday, the neighborhood will never be the same. Or at least that's what Craig says in the movie Friday. Our neighborhood (OYIT) will probably stay the same after this Friday. The only thing that may change is if Glenn starts writing more GM posts. I asked him to write one for today (remember when he wrote one everyday?), but then I needed to procrastinate on a paper, so you're stuck with me. Muhaha! I hope you hate me and it hurts you to read this. In the famous words of former Vice President Dick Cheney, "There's nothing quite like inflicting pain on others, is there?"*


Really You Just Injured My Pride
Imagine if that film He's Just Not That Into You was not the worst movie you've ever seen and instead was a fantastic, funny song. Tada! I introduce to you "Hey Boy" by the Blow. This is a great way to start your day because it is simply impossible not to dance to it. Even I have to move around to this one, and I hate dancing because I loathe anything that leads to having a good time. Khaela Maricich speaks for all women when she sings, "Hey boy, why you didn't call me?" - or at least for those of us who word our sentences weirdly and aren't being called by boys.

I Wish Alex Turner Was My Boyfriend

Here's a video of my dream men AKA Arctic Monkeys performing "Mardy Bum" at Glastonbury two years ago. It's not the Monkeys most complex piece of work, but it is a lot of fun to sing along to. Ever since I heard it when I was sixteen, I've dreamed of being in a semi-dysfunctional relationship and listening to my partner sing these words ("and I can't be arsed to carry on in this debate/ That reoccurs, oh when you say I don't care/ but of course I do, yeah I clearly do!") to me. One day, Maddie. One day.

Like the Fist of God We Will Smash Them!
Eugene Mirman is funny. This is funny. I'm so confident in its funniness that I'm willing to kill my least favorite friend if it doesn't make you laugh. I'm willing to kill my favorite friend if it doesn't at least make you smile. And by "you," I mean people who have compassion. Homophobes need not apply for my little game!

FYI
Meghan McCain loves gun, is an idiot.

Yikes
I just realized that the song and video I posted reveal a lot about myself. I guess I look pretty desperate now. That's okay. I need to be honest with the readers of OYIT. As my current fav. book says, "Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. (Romans 12:3)"

On a Related Note
Males, if you are single - or at least open to cheating on your girlfriends/wives - and over the age of twenty/ under the age of twenty-eight, please email me at Maddie@oneyearintexas.com.



*Okay, so he didn't actually say this with his "words," but he does scream it everyday of his life through his actions.

15 comments:

  1. why doesn't this say "read more..." after the top part? did i mess something up?

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  2. nevermind, i just fixed it and feel so cool.

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  3. Oh my lord. these shouldn't be called good morning posts; they should be called "A View Into the Darkest Depths of Madeline's Mind."

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  4. Maddie, it's ok if you reveal too much about yourself on OYIT. Like the other female bloggers you have a low self-esteem and it shows with every post. You're just yearning for attention and have found a "neighborhood" here on the internet that accepts you. Just keep posting. We're here for you.

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  5. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO SAY? I AM SO TIRED RIGHT NOW I HAVEN'T SLEPT MORE THAN 5 HOURS IN THE LAST TWO NIGHTS. I DON'T FUCKING HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM THOUGH - I KNOW THAT.

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  6. I laughed so hard at Nate's post. Maddie is having sleep deprivation induced insanity.

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  7. "Don’t think you are better than you really are." i didn't know this was from the bible. my mother said this to me all the time when i was growing up. she was so wise.

    also, males, i will just go ahead and cover all of the men that maddie is not reaching. 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s....no decade is too old! or at least the men who ogle me at work don't think so!

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  8. I HOPE NO ONE LAUGHS OR SMILES WHILE LISTENING TO THE ANTI GAY MARRIAGE PHONE CALL SO I CAN KILL MY FAVORITE FRIEND (N8) AND MY LEAST FAVORITE FRIEND (GLENN).

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  9. Haha, this is great. Maddie, you just need to listen to the lyrics of "Once and Never Again" and you will realize that you don't need a bf until you are 20. Then you can sign up for jdate like the rest of us.

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  10. Exactly. Jake and I didn't have sex until we were 32.

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  11. I thought the anti gay marriage phone prank was hilarious! You really have to have a LOT of self confidence to go through with prank like that!

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  12. this has everything I wanted in a post a Friday quote, Eugene Mirman, and a link Meghan McCain's blog.

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  13. Friday in UMD form I NEED that for my psp

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  14. I hope you hate me and it hurts you to read this. In the famous words of former Vice President Dick Cheney, "There's nothing quite like inflicting pain on others, is there?"

    That's so funny.

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  15. thank you, jake! the comments on this post are very funny as well.

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