20 Things I Would Rather Do Than See Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

By Maddie

The current number one movie in America is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. It's no secret that Michael Bay is my favorite director and that Pearl Harbor is my favorite film, not to mention I used to have a slight (okay, whatever, "huge") obsession with Shia Labeouf...but holy shit do I have zero interest in seeing this movie. I would rather:

1. Inhale anthrax
2. Participate in 2010's National Right to Life pro-life essay contest
3. Wear ballet flats with socks
4. Have Tonight be the only David Bowie album in my collection
5. Watch Carpool and the Stupids back-to-back
6. Spend an evening with Carlos Mencia
7. Be neighbors with the woman who said David Letterman rapes children with his mouth
8. Have the ability to build a time machine...but ONLY be able to travel back to Woodstock 1999
9. Encourage my friends to read The Five People You Meet in Heaven
10. Quote Little Nicky in public
11. Never be able to listen to "Midnight Train to Georgia" again
12. Use the word "friggin" or "frickin"
13. Be outgoing and/or confident
14. Show respect to Phyllis Schlafly
15. Say FML
16. Wear anything resembling this
17. Volunteer at CPAC (Although if you're interested, feel free to e-mail Vincent Galatro at vgalatro@conservative.org for an application.)
18. Be forced to listen to Counting Crows' cover of "Big Yellow Taxi" at least three times a day and never get to hear Joni Mitchell's original
19. Sign up to become an "Oprah Insider" on her website
20. See Transformers


  1. This is my favorite series on OYIT, not counting the ones I'm involved in or have inspired.

    #13? I like #18. I mean I like the song.

  2. This is so funny! #8 is my favorite.

  3. I demand this be a weekly column. I will never tired of the similarities Maddie and I have in our distaste for so many things.

  4. Maddie, I love you. I don't know what else to say.

  5. John Candy's GhostNovember 7, 2011 at 2:10 PM

    hey snuck into a theater to see (really easy for me to sneak in places as a ghost LOL) and it wasn't half bad