20 Things I'd Rather Do Than See Gamer

By Maddie

I don't know how to put it more plainly: I do not want to see Gamer. This shouldn't be the case - I'm in love with video games ("in love with" might not be the right phrase here...maybe something more like "indifferent towards") and am penpals with at least one death row inmate (<3 Scott Peterson <3). Still, every time I see the trailer, I think to myself, "Wow, what the fuck is this shit? Was that Gerard Butler in black face? Is that 'Sweet Dreams' by Marilyn Manson? Um, Ludacris?" In fact, the only reason I would ever see this movie is because one of the directors is named Brain Taylor. I went to grade school with a Brain Taylor. He had acne two years before everyone else and wore moccasins 7 years before Minnetonkas were trendy. I doubt it's the same BT, but I can't say for sure.

1. Make out with my awkward former classmate Brian Taylor
2. Wear Victoria's Secret PINK brand sweatpants
3. Watch my Down Syndrome baby be put to sleep in front of Obama's death panel
4. Deem Battlefeild Earth the best Forest Whitaker film
5. Set my cell phone ringtone to “Follow Me” by Uncle Cracker
6. Let Tonya Harding break all of the toes on my left foot before having to race Michael Johnson
7. Defend Joe Lieberman
8. Get "live.laugh.love" tattooed on my arm
9. Grow dreads
10. Have my eyes do this every time I saw someone attractive
11. Tailgate before a college football game and not be allowed to take Xanax
12. Play "I'll Be Missing You" by Puff Daddy and Faith Evans at my funeral
13. Have someone take a picture of me while throwing up a peace sign, like this
14. Prefer the 2006 Nicolas Cage remake of The Wicker Man to the 1973 original
15. Try to convince someone of Neil Young's genius, but only be allowed to play him/her the song "Misfits"
16. Be either person in this conversation: "Hey, what are you doing tonight, bro?" "Boozin'."
17. Care about the Fred Durst/Scott Stapp feud and argue who was right/wrong in the situation
18. Co-host "the View"
19. Be on death row
20. Play a video game


  1. Kaleena did number 9. I did number 20.

  2. i plan to do number 19 sooner or later.

  3. the only reason this is worth seeing is to find out how the fuck that one second clip of Michael C. Hall dancing plays into the story of the movie

  4. whatcha got against video games!

  5. i just saw the preview for this last night when we went to see inglorious basterds (which was very good...and i'm not a devoted tarantino fan). but whoa...gerard butler was in three out of the four previews shown before the movie. what the heck? where did he come from?! why is he so popular all of a sudden?

  6. um...this is ingrid. i have too many blogs.

  7. Ingrid, stick to a screen name!

    Gerard Butler was in 300, which was a really huge movie.