I H8 U If...

By Maddie and Jake 

No two writers at One Year in Texas are swelling with hate like Maddie and myself. Our love of hatred has finally brought us together to collaborate on an article. I hope you enjoy it and if you don't I hate you.



Jake Hates You If...
You say "fail." Even if it's on the Internet.

You eat loudly.

All you want to talk about is the Crusades. What kind of person are you?

You only eat meat.

You drink and drive.

You are Dane Cook or Jeff Dunham.

You like Dane Cook or Jeff Dunham.

You drive an SUV.

You go camping a lot.

You don't comment on our articles.


Maddie Hates You If...
You say "fail." Especially if it's on the Internet. (And while we're at it--FML, FTW, KKK, etc. Please just stop.)

You are a rapist.

You are a Republican.

You listen to Daughtry.

You get excited to watch Love Actually during the Holiday Season.

You wear sunglasses with Croakies.

You were in my Social & Intellectual History of Modern Europe seminar freshman year.

You go to the bathroom during movies.

You don't tip well.

You have a Dave Matthews quote on your Facebook profile.

7 comments:

  1. Only one of Maddie's things applies to me but I won't say which one.

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  2. I know what fail and fml are, but 'fuck the weather' and 'kick kris kristofferson' I have never heard of!

    "A little beep, a little bop, a little beep, a little bop, a little beep, a little bop, a little baby" - Dave

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  3. i guess his secret is out! glenn forced me to watch love actually with him over winter break.

    bub, kick kris kristofferson is the new "in" thing. you are really showing your age.

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  4. "You get excited to watch Love Actually during the Holiday Season."

    I'm so glad someone else hates this, and really sad Glenn loves it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You don't tip well.

    Uber. Epic. Fail.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Omar told me that he liked this article so I guess that's what his comment is trying to get across.

    ReplyDelete
  7. life's too short to hate trust me you gotta love

    ReplyDelete