By Maddie 

From the OYIT Vault:

1. Speak in an Irish accent as often as possible. It gives the impression that you're an exotic foreigner, so women will want to sleep with you, without being exotic enough to be the victim of hate crimes or racial profiling.

2. Don't refer to Google as "google dot com." People will think you're either older than 45 or a fucking idiot.

3. If you're dating someone who has an anime fetish, break up with them right away.

4. Don't bring your infant child out clubbing with you. Trust me, she's a pussy and will throw up after a single beer.

5. Try to stay away from drunk frat boys. That way you're less likely to wake up hating yourself.

6. Do not, under any circumstance, say "Jesus, Take the Wheel" while having sex.

7. If you ever find yourself in the same room as Rachael Ray, run for your fucking life.


  1. This advice is even better than all those graduation speeches that circulate around You Tube.

  2. I don't even really remember this from the first time it was posted. I'm not going to take any of the advice, but I appreciate that it was given.

  3. i feel so honored that this was chosen! i didn't know if these advice posts were well recieved the first time around. jake, you don't have to take my advice, but when you wake up next to a frat bro, don't say i didn't warn you.

  4. John Candy's GhostDecember 28, 2011 at 4:47 PM

    hey rachel ray is not that bad! i like her cookies and she'll be joining me here soon