20 Things I Find More Offensive Than the Ground Zero Mosque

By Maddie 

Let's pretend, for argument's sake, that the Ground Zero Mosque is an actual mosque and not a community center. I cannot even fathom what it feels like to be a big of enough asshole to oppose it being built. This is a special kind of asshole -- the kind of asshole who makes the dude who wears gym shorts to church look like a stand-up guy. The kind of asshole who makes the girl pushing her dog in a stroller seem almost okay. The kind of asshole who makes you rethink your hatred of your coworker who wears visors to company picnics and says things like "let's play it by ear." To be honest, I find most things more offensive than the idea of this "mosque." Just to name a few:

1. Howard Dean's comments on the Ground Zero Mosque
2. Season 9 of "Roseanne"
3. The entire Matchbox 20 catalog
4. Most of the things Kendra Wilkinson has said
5. Utah
6. flip flops
7. Pick up lines having to do with being a singer and/or songwriter
8. Pick up lines in general
9. People who refer to themselves in the third person
10. This guy I once heard say, "I'm a music connoisseur."
11. Shorts on men
13. black olives
14. David Bowie circa 1984
15. The chip selection at the Subway on 7th and 14th
16. Faded denim
17. The majority of people named Chad
18. The girl I saw wearing an Eat, Pray, Love t-shirt yesterday
19. The phrase "enough said" or any variation (e.g., "nuff said")
20. Irrational fear of the Other


  1. Utah is the only state whose support of same sex marriage has not increased in the past six years. Fuck them. Also fuck Destiny's Child.

  2. How can anyone not love beyonce? I love this article as much as I love her if not more!

  3. I told my dad that I thought men wearing shorts was effeminate. He was wearing shorts AND a tanktop when I told him this.

  4. nice post maddie. 'nuff said.