Showing posts with label chocolate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chocolate. Show all posts

"Addicted To Chocolate: A Short Play"

By Scott 

From the OYIT VAULT



Setting - A bakery counter at a Jewel grocery store.


(Lights go up on a bakery counter a Jewel grocery store. We see Shad, a 51 year old baker, preparing dough of somesort.)

Shad: (talking to himself, gleefully) Tra-la-la! What shall you be, Mr. Dough? Perchance a cookie? Perchance a cake? Whatever you shall be shalt be s'wonderful!

(Brandi, our antagonist, approaches the counter. She is wearing a big dress. She is fat in addition to being 42 years old. She reeks of fries.)

Brandi: (gleefully) Now there's the man I need to see!

Shad: (laughs) Uh oh! Hit the "Brandi alarm"! Watch out!

Brandi: (laughs) Oh cut it out! But a man who knows his way around a dessert, call him a DREAM man!

Shad: Right, right.

Brandi: Anyway, I need my fix.

Shad: (laughs) A fix? Oh Brandi!

Brandi: I know, right? It's like I'm ADDICTED TO DESSERTS!

Shad: (jokingly uses a chocolate chip cookie as a "cigarette") Huh? How about this? Huh?

Brandi: (beside herself in laughter) That's it! That's it! (shifting focus) Ok. Hmm, what to get today. How about that. That cake. That whole cake!

Shad: (slight chuckle) Right. Yeah, the whole thing.

Brandi: No no. I wish, though! It looks good. Go ahead and give me a piece.

(Shad cuts a generous piece of the German chocolate cake, places it in a Superbowl-themed, football shaped to-go container, and hands it to Brandi, who at this point has gathered saliva on the corners of her mouth.)

Shad: Tra-la-la. One piece of cake for Brandi!

Brandi: Thank you...so much. This is gonna be gooOOood. Ya know, forget everything else. Chocolate. That's it. That's where it's at!

Shad: Hooray!

Brandi: I'm addicted to chocolate!

Shad: (grimly) As I am t'ward you. (Lights fade slowly as "Live Your Life" by T.I. feat. Rihanna plays softly in the background.)



Good Morning Sometime

By Hot Rod 


Good Morning

Morning is the time when the Lord whispers into the moon's ears and then sets it on fire. In a far off land it's 5 o'clock somewhere I heard in a song. That means that those people got up really early to go to the beach. Which reminds me, how much wood does a wood chuck? Get it?! Good morning.

Today's chocolate is: candy bar.

Today's Rock and Roll is: awesome.

Today's tears are: sad.

I got good Christmas gifts for the holidays. I hope you did too. If not Santa Claus must've seen you that time when we peed off the balcony. T.M.I.! T.M.I. is where you abbreviate words to letters to make it sound like you're a computer. I don't know how to use the computer so I abbreviate things to make up for it.

Today's money is: broke.

Today's milk is: refreshing.

Today's Satan is: The Devil.

I hope you have a Happy New Year today. I know New Year's is not today but what's to stop us from partying everyday? We'll smoke cigarettes and listen to Judas Priest. We can even drink the juice out of unfrozen freezer pops just like on the real New Year's. But don't tell Ma'! Or better yet, tell her and she can buy the freezer pops. I like the blue kind the best.

Today's freezer pop: red.

I know it's not as good as blue but that's what they said about the Lord and he showed them by setting the moon on fire. I don't think a blue freezer pop could ever do that! But that wont stop us from trying. Never give up, children. No matter what they tell you you have to persevere. That means to learn how to ride a horse. Which reminds me, orange you glad I didn't say banana? I know I am.

Good morning.

"Addicted To Chocolate: A Short Play"

By Scott


Setting - A bakery counter at a Jewel grocery store.


(Lights go up on a bakery counter a Jewel grocery store. We see Shad, a 51 year old baker, preparing dough of somesort.)

Shad: (talking to himself, gleefully) Tra-la-la! What shall you be, Mr. Dough? Perchance a cookie? Perchance a cake? Whatever you shall be shalt be s'wonderful!

(Brandi, our antagonist, approaches the counter. She is wearing a big dress. She is fat in addition to being 42 years old. She reeks of fries.)

Brandi: (gleefully) Now there's the man I need to see!

Shad: (laughs) Uh oh! Hit the "Brandi alarm"! Watch out!

Brandi: (laughs) Oh cut it out! But a man who knows his way around a dessert, call him a DREAM man!

Shad: Right, right.

Brandi: Anyway, I need my fix.

Shad: (laughs) A fix? Oh Brandi!

Brandi: I know, right? It's like I'm ADDICTED TO DESSERTS!

Shad: (jokingly uses a chocolate chip cookie as a "cigarette") Huh? How about this? Huh?

Brandi: (beside herself in laughter) That's it! That's it! (shifting focus) Ok. Hmm, what to get today. How about that. That cake. That whole cake!

Shad: (slight chuckle) Right. Yeah, the whole thing.

Brandi: No no. I wish, though! It looks good. Go ahead and give me a piece.

(Shad cuts a generous piece of the German chocolate cake, places it in a Superbowl-themed, football shaped to-go container, and hands it to Brandi, who at this point has gathered saliva on the corners of her mouth.)

Shad: Tra-la-la. One piece of cake for Brandi!

Brandi: Thank you...so much. This is gonna be gooOOood. Ya know, forget everything else. Chocolate. That's it. That's where it's at!

Shad: Hooray!

Brandi: I'm addicted to chocolate!

Shad: (grimly) As I am t'ward you. (Lights fade slowly as "Live Your Life" by T.I. feat. Rihanna plays softly in the background.)