By Jake
On New Years eve I decided to take stock in 2010 and make a list of the things I hated about the year. Then I also decided, much later in the evening, to make a list of the things I liked about 2010. I wanted to clarify that I started my "Things I Like" list much later because I don't want you to think I am an overly negative person.
7 Things I Hate
1. Weezer - Weezer in 2010 is like hearing Bob Dylan rapping on that Kurtis Blow song: you are just not sure why it is happening and it makes you very uncomfortable. Weezer played at Bradley University in Peoria and tickets were $50. You could buy 100 Cadbury eggs for that amount of money, although if you ate that many you would probably end up with diabetes.
2. Gluten Free Food - If you are gluten intolerant, ignore this entry, this is for those who are not. If you buy gluten free food you are an asshole. Gluten is protein composite, not poison. It's not inherently healthier for you than food that contains gluten. Stop being so fucking stupid.
3. Ken Jeong/David Spade - I already gave my reasons.
4. BP - They did spill all of that oil in the Gulf of Mexico, afterall. It was the 9/11 of the last decade.
5. Triceratops - They don't exist anymore. They are just the baby version of another dinosaur, the Torosaurus. This makes The Land Before Time series of films obsolete, and, in turn, makes our lives obsolete.
6. The Runaways - The worst movie I saw in 2010 and perhaps ever.
7. George W. Bush - I have not forgotten about you. In 2010, he claimed the lowest point of his presidency was Kanye West saying he hates black people. What about 9/11? Hurricane Katrina? Dick Cheney shooting that guy?
3 Things I Liked
1. Tyler Perry - I was going to add him to my list of things I hated and it made me realize that I actually like him. What's to hate about Tyler Perry? He makes positive movies for black people. There's a big market for that and not many people taking advantage of it.
2. Wikileaks - I am always sad whenever somebody says something negative about Wikileaks. I heard a rap song earlier today where the rapper claims that it is "snitching." It is information that should be public in the first place.
3. Four Loko - I hate energy drinks. I like beer. I still hate it when you combine the two, but I don't see why it should be banned. It kills stupid people, and I like that.
On New Years eve I decided to take stock in 2010 and make a list of the things I hated about the year. Then I also decided, much later in the evening, to make a list of the things I liked about 2010. I wanted to clarify that I started my "Things I Like" list much later because I don't want you to think I am an overly negative person.
7 Things I Hate
1. Weezer - Weezer in 2010 is like hearing Bob Dylan rapping on that Kurtis Blow song: you are just not sure why it is happening and it makes you very uncomfortable. Weezer played at Bradley University in Peoria and tickets were $50. You could buy 100 Cadbury eggs for that amount of money, although if you ate that many you would probably end up with diabetes.
2. Gluten Free Food - If you are gluten intolerant, ignore this entry, this is for those who are not. If you buy gluten free food you are an asshole. Gluten is protein composite, not poison. It's not inherently healthier for you than food that contains gluten. Stop being so fucking stupid.
3. Ken Jeong/David Spade - I already gave my reasons.
4. BP - They did spill all of that oil in the Gulf of Mexico, afterall. It was the 9/11 of the last decade.
5. Triceratops - They don't exist anymore. They are just the baby version of another dinosaur, the Torosaurus. This makes The Land Before Time series of films obsolete, and, in turn, makes our lives obsolete.
6. The Runaways - The worst movie I saw in 2010 and perhaps ever.
7. George W. Bush - I have not forgotten about you. In 2010, he claimed the lowest point of his presidency was Kanye West saying he hates black people. What about 9/11? Hurricane Katrina? Dick Cheney shooting that guy?
3 Things I Liked
1. Tyler Perry - I was going to add him to my list of things I hated and it made me realize that I actually like him. What's to hate about Tyler Perry? He makes positive movies for black people. There's a big market for that and not many people taking advantage of it.
2. Wikileaks - I am always sad whenever somebody says something negative about Wikileaks. I heard a rap song earlier today where the rapper claims that it is "snitching." It is information that should be public in the first place.
3. Four Loko - I hate energy drinks. I like beer. I still hate it when you combine the two, but I don't see why it should be banned. It kills stupid people, and I like that.
