Showing posts with label russian full house. Show all posts
Showing posts with label russian full house. Show all posts

I Don't Want This Weekend To End - Why 'Friday' Is My Rosebud



By Bub 

I like Rebecca Black's Friday. A lot. Too much, I've heard. I like it to the point where I watch it everyday, more than once. I've enjoyed it long after the novelty of the incredibly inane lyrics, shoddy cinematography, grating chorus and general incessant cloyingness of the video has worn off. I've been watching it long past the point where I guffawed at the absurd weight she imposed on the decision of which seat in her friend's car to be seated; past reveling in the incongruity of thirteen year-olds driving in cars and partying unchaperoned with adult male rappers (who rap nonsensically about school buses, race cars, and clocks); even past the amazement at the bridge where she literally explains the ordering of the the days of the week, and then inexplicably jettisons the use of verbs. I still enjoy this ridiculous pastiche of things that someone who is not a teenager imagines relating to being a teenager. Irony has ceased to be a part of it.

But my obsession is still more than if it were merely a catchy tune. There was something that struck me about Rebecca Black's Friday that I couldn't figure out - something that delighted and affected me in a way that penetrated my cerebral cortex and bore through all the way down to the amygdala.

It took me awhile to understand it. But it became clear to me as I was watching the face of my five-year old daughter as she was watching the video. She enjoys the song on the sincerest level possible. And the look on her face betrayed not only delight but also reverence, and slight trepidation. What had been affecting me was also affecting her in the same way, she just didn't have to filter out all of the cluttered layers of cynicism and experience to enjoy it. It was right there in the look on her face - Friday is the perfect distillation of what adulthood and even teenagerdom means to a child.

I cannot say if that makes Patrice Wilson, the writer and producer of Friday, a genius or severely emotionally stunted. But Friday captures the magic and the possibility, and also the awe and the dread of something inevitable that you do not understand. To a five year old, it is completely plausible that older children, Rebecca Black's age, would drive around in cars, and do whatever it is their parents do when they are left home on a Friday with a babysitter - presumably hang out with rappers, sit on tailgates, drive around aimlessly. Temporal ordering is still a very relevant topic; and grammar, even the concept of language is still amorphous and changing. With drugs and sex, and even money not yet entering into a child's consciousness let alone purpose, meaning, ethics; picking which seat to sit in actually is the most important dilemma imaginable. It doesn't matter what happens once inside the car. At that point we all are just along for the ride.

Friday gives me a lens to view life the way my daughter does; the way I once did. It lets me feel what life was like before I was cognizant of my own mortality and long before that actually meant something to me. It allows me to get back to that dense mass of hope, anxiety and expectation that has slowly dissipated throughout my life. It gives me the same feeling that I once had as a child on the couch in the living room in the moments before the kickoff of the TGIF lineup on ABC - that something profoundly enjoyable was about to happen and that it would not last long. Soon the weekend would be over. And I would approach each subsequent Friday with a diminishing sense of anticipation and serendipity. When I listen to Friday I can recapture a small piece of that feeling, if only for a brief four minutes.

Good Morning Russian Spies

By Glenn 

Good morning, or as our Russian friends might say: "Dobroye utro." Recently it is revealed that we all have more Russian friends than we know, as a massive 11 person spy ring was uncovered and subsequently destroyed by American law enforcement agencies. What were these Russians doing along the Eastern seaboard and what information did they hope to obtain? The details remain murky, but the prevalence of anti-Putin rhetoric on this website means that we should all be watching our backs. I don't want to end up full of dioxin like Victor Yushchenko!



Today's Weather

In Saint Petersburg today the high will be 80 with a 30% chance of thunderstorms. The clouds that will rain life's nectar on the city formerly known as Leningrad have been gathered over the city since New Year's Eve 1999. That was when Boris Yeltsin resigned and Vladimir Putin became acting President. His specter, like thunderstorm clouds, has loomed over Russia and struck down, with lighting, all oligarchs and pro-democracy advocates that have dared to get in his way.


Today's Non-Aggression Pact
History has been full of famous non-aggression pacts, where two groups decide not to fight each other, either for the sake of focusing on a greater enemy or just because they realize the battle would be futile and terrible for all involved. The most famous example is the Ribbentrop-Molotov Pact between the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany, signed in 1939 and ratified by the US Congress in 2003. This was a way for Hitler to avoid fighting a two front war and Stalin to watch all of his enemies fight each other over the European landscape. For our pop culture fans, this is the equivalent of when Slater and Zack teamed up to get Jessie's step brother in trouble on Saved by the Bell. For our sports fans, this is like when all the teams of the National League team up to play against the American League in the annual all-star game. For music fans, this is like when all of those people united to do the "Yes We Can" video by will.i.am. In that last scenario, Scarlett Johansson is Josef Stalin and John Legend is Adolf Hitler.


Today's Prediction

As events in Central Asia and the Caucasus unfold, the Soviet Union will get together and decide to reform, not unlike Echo & the Bunnymen, the Jesus & Mary Chain, and other bands with an ampersand in their name. After doing so, they will sign a non-aggression pact with the United States. This will free the jailed Russian spies but also forbid the long awaited chess championship match between Gary Kasparov and anti-Semite Bobby Fischer. Kasparov will be poisoned by dioxin anyway, probably by Prime Minister Putin but in most academic circles there will always be a lingering suspicion that Kareem Abdul Jamar was involved based on his appearance in the "Yes We Can" video.

Waaaaaaaaake UP, OYIT [January 15, 2010]

By Katy

Good morning, good morning. I'm Katy and unfortunately Becky and Danny couldn't be here with me to bring you this very special edition of GM because they're fictional characters and unable to relate to myself and you, the reader, as actual people, but that's not going to stop us from starting the day off right!

Today's Video:



Uncle Jesse Locked Me Out! -- I tried to post this video at least 34 times and blogspot kept giving me an error, but instead of giving up on the joke, I'm just making you work harder for it. I hope you've had your morning coffee!

This video is a proper documentation of how I started MY morning and how my day has thus progressed so far. Michelle is the metaphorical "me" in this video. She's wearing pajamas and I'M wearing pajamas, because it's comfy day. That means I strolled into work at 11:50PM Thursday night in the same pants I spent all day lying in bed and coughing into (I sleep in several compromising positions). Michelle's attempts to relate to and enjoy the company of Jesse and Becky are similar to my attempts to get my co-wokers to stop throwing glances of all consuming hate towards one another, and like Jesse did to Michelle, they locked me out of their lives with the single click of a deadbolt. Glenn is obviously my Joey in this instance--the man I run to when people don't realize how awesome I am, but instead of fixing my problems for me he just tells me I'm pretty lame.

Today's Theatrical Releases:

  • The Book of Eli (Rated: R for repetitive, tedious, and redundant)

  • Denzel Washington stars as Connor MacLeod. It's 2024 and the ozone has gone to crap. MacLeod was supervising the construction of The Shield, meant to protect the now dying Earth, but that backfired something crazy. General Katana makes his way to the future to slaughter Connor because he failed miserably in the prequel. Connor does a seance wherein he calls upon Ramirez, an old teacher, to aide him in restoring equilibrium to the universe/kill Katana and also somehow the ozone heals itself. I'm sorry, that was Highlander II: The Quickening, but that was actually more interesting that the synopsis of The Book of Eli.

  • The Spy Next Door (Rated: PG for sub-par comedy and Billy Ray Cyrus not being funny)

  • From the title I was hoping The Spy Next Door was a remake of The Whole Nine Yards with Jackie Chan playing Bruce Willis' character while Billy Ray Cyrus adequately portrayed Matthew Perry as the stammering yet adorable lead, only less adorable. Unfortunately, it turns out to be a kids flick, where Jackie Chan plays a spy (I know, right?) who has fallen in love with his next door neighbor. He plans on getting out of the biz, but before she'll marry him, she wants him to get to know her three lovely children. Why this hasn't already happened in the course of dating and being neighbors will hopefully be explained. So, she has him watch them an entire weekend when she's out of town and one of the kids manages to download some secret file from Jackie Chan's computer, starting a feud with Jackie Chan's nemesis, the Russian terrorist. No matter how many synopsis pages I read I can't seem to find who the Russian terrorist is, so we can only hope it's Billy Ray Cyrus. Thus, this movie just serves to further perpetuate the fallacy that little girls want to grow up, have three children, get divorced, marry the Asian next door, and have Billy Ray Cyrus pretend to be Russian. Two thumbs down.

    Today's Crab Joke:

    A lobster and a crab want to get married. The lobster's father says no, because crabs cannot walk straight. They get married anyway despite the injustice and radical discrimination implied by the lobster's father and Uncle Jesse attends the ceremony.


    Today's Fun Fact:

    Did you know that Facebook has an option for "English (Upside Down)?" More like "English (Waste of Java Programming Skills)" Am I right?