Lying to Your Children: Is it Really Worth It?

By Kaleena

 

Every parent likes to believe their child is special and unique. They even go to such lengths as to tell them they were “well planned” or “they can do whatever they put their mind to”; but at some point they let those truths fade into the sunset along with the rest of childhood naivete and respect the natural transition into angry teen anorexic. Some parents, however, seem to have a much harder time with this flow of nature.

Angela Duckett, known to her friends as ‘Ange’, is one of these such moms. Recently, she and her 13 year old daughter, Neveah, were perusing the wide selection of generic and name brand “liquid meals” when a school-mate of Neveah’s, 14 year old Heart, passed behind them, almost undetected, but Heart could not resist the urge to berade Neveah and her mother in public. Was it the result of an on-going “beef” between the girls or simply the nature of teenageism?

I sat down with Ange who relayed to me the specific details of the confrontation:

“We were deciding between the Royal Chocolate or the Hazelnut lite and that little bitch says to my girl, she says ‘yeah, you need that shit fat-ass!’ I was like ‘woah you little bitch; where’s your mom? Maybe if she could keep the dick out of her mouth long enough she’d be able to teach you some  motha-fuckin’ manners!’”

Neveah sat by her mother loudly chewing her gum and nodding along with everything her mother was saying. I asked Neveah how she felt in that moment:

“Pssshhhhhhtt....that girl’s such a hoe. She got all this fake hair and nails ‘n’ shit. I turned on her and was like ‘yeah hoe! Keep walkin’! Don’t want to be late to tag your ma out for yo’ shift change!”

Ange and Naveah high-fived, then Ange chimed in:

“I’m not a clueless mama, I know that hurt my baby. But it’s like I always tell her; you’re much prettier than her!”

I asked Neveah what she think sparked this heinous attack.

Neveah shrugged and said simply; “Trailer trash be hatin’ on trailer gold.”

I didn’t really understand this response so I redirected the conversation by asking if they had a photo of Heart. Neveah retrieved her yearbook and presented me with a photo of a rather gorgeous 14 year old girl. Her hair didn’t look fake at all and her make-up was tastefully done. Her teeth lined were symmetrical and gleaming and her eyes made you think of an adorable newborn fawn. I definitely could not say the same for Neveah. I presented my case:

“Well, she’s actually a very pretty girl. I mean, I’m sure she’s a bitch, as all teens are, but she doesn’t look fake anywhere.”

Ange quickly retaliated:

“That bitch is fake as shit! She so ugly and mean. Just mean, you know, on the inside. Makes a person real ugly. But Neveah? My girl’s got heart! A big ol’ heart right in between her silicone sweeties!”

She pointed in between her daughter’s bosom. I became extremely uncomfortable, but I wasn’t going to leave until I got to the bottom of why Ange would lie to her daughter who was very clearly not at all as attractive as the aforementioned Heart.

“I understand she’s your daughter, Ange, but she really isn’t at all as pretty as this girl. I mean look at this girl! It’s....it’s almost insufferable to look at her because you just know you’ll never  be as physically appealing! Why do you feel the need to lie to your own daughter?”

Both were silent, staring at me intently. I had just dropped a journalistic and existential bomb upon them and I assumed they were trying to process and come up with a logical, well-thought response. I was surprised by what was next to come.

   

Ange spoke first and fiercely:

   

“First of all, you don’t come into my house to insult my gorgeous child, do you understand that? Naveah has won three county fair beauty pageants and not because of her great personality because she does not have that yet; but because she is fu-cking beautiful! “

   

“Aren’t those pageants usually reserved for young kids?” I asked.

   

“Yeah, and she’s looked 11 for the past 3 years!”

   

This was definitely an inside joke because Ange and Naveah seemed to get a real joy out of it that I could not comprehend. I decided to redirect my questioning to Naveah:

   

“Naveah, I believe you’re a relatively intelligent being. You at least aren’t blind. How do you feel when your mom tells you these “white lies”, which you just know within the core of your being are completely and blatantly untrue, just to try and appease you?”

   

Naveah rolled her head and eyes so dramatically I thought she was going into a seizure but she recovered quickly enough to share her two cents:

   

“I have had sex with three guys from the senior class in the past year! What ugly bitch gets that kind of ass!? I bet you get ass once a month if you’re lucky!’

   

“Well, no” I replied. “If I get laid once a month it’s because I finally got published and I can finally pay the full-service price.”

   

I didn’t expect to come out of this feeling so insulted but at the same time it was interesting to see just how deep a little “white lie” can go between a mother and a daughter. It bonds them in such a way that the rest of the world wants nothing to do with to such an extent that they will give them their own television show just to get them away from the real world around them. I’m not sure how this helps as usually it takes an extreme life-altering experience to change anyone with an ounce of decency within them. I guess it’s true what they say; no decency equals reality show potential.