Debate: Is Satanism's Popularity on the Rise?

By Jake & Glenn 

Satanism is one of the most oft-maligned major world religions. Less popular than Islam but more genuine than Scientology, it seeks to connect people with their true savior Satan (also known as "Frank Satan" in the renegade Nu Satanism cult based in the Netherlands). The backlash that erupted when Anton LaVey founded Satanism in 1966 was as expected as it was strong. Satanists were forced underground, only gaining mainstream acceptance after the Stonewall Riots three years later. They then lost most of that acceptance by supporting Israel's invasion of Lebanon in 1978, but the Book of Satan compels Church followers to support any movement to subjugate others. Over thirty years later - and with most of the anti-sodomy and anti-Satanism laws now illegal in the United States - Satanism is coming back as a strong force in the proselytizing business. Or is it? The debate, like Anton LaVey's beard, rages on.


Jake: It is becoming nearly impossible to walk a city block without seeing a pentagram "tagged" on any and every available space. While graffiti might be on a steady decline along with breakdancing, you surely cannot say the same about Satanism. It is nearly impossible to stroll through a public park without tripping over a beheaded goat, soaked in more blood than common sense should allow. This is our current reality and we can do nothing but strap ourselves into the rollercoaster and let Satanism take us through our ups and downs. Jesus is co-pilot to some, while Satan is a rollercoaster technician to others. Me...I'm not very religious, but I see Satanism all around me in an increasing frequency. How else could you explain Mercyful Fate's latest album shooting straight to number one on Billboard's Religious Albums chart?

Glenn: How do you explain the biggest Christian our nation has ever seen - Barack Obama - being elected President of the United States over a year ago? I appreciate your roller coaster analogy because I'm one of the few people from the Midwest who never lost a family member in a Six Flags accident or shooting. However I do not appreciate you coming to what is ostensibly a blog about Christian indie rock and Aerosmith to tell America's youth that Satanism is on the rise. This is exactly how these things perpetuate themselves. No one liked Vampire Weekend at first but once people started promoting it and saying it was "on the rise," it gained mainstream acceptance at Six Flags all over this great nation. The next time I go to Six Flags - whether to kill tourists or to enjoy myself - I don't want to have to get on an Anton LaVey-themed roller coaster or a log ride that goes into "the abyss."

Jake: Comparing Satanism to a log ride is flat out ludicrous. Worshipping Satan and getting saturated by water while sitting in a fake tree are mutually exclusive. If you do not believe in and praise God then you tacitly accept Satan as your saviour, and I can see why. Satanism is glitzier and more glamorous than any other mainstream religion. Whether you are merely drawing pentagrams in chalk on your basement floor or listening to a Marilyn Manson album and plotting a school shooting, there is just a definite appeal to devoting your soul to the fallen angel. If Satanism was not on the rise, then these Harry Potter novels wouldn't be outselling the Left Behind series.

Glenn: Satanism has about as much in common with Harry Potter as this website does with Texas. And Marilyn Manson? I haven't even bought a Marilyn Manson album since 1998's Mechanical Animals, which is saying something because I was one of the first people to commit a school shooting while listening to that glam, Bowie-influenced album. Marilyn Manson looks like Billy Crystal compared to Anton LaVey, though, who is the least cool person I have seen since myself in a mirror ten years ago. If Satanism is so popular, why is Islam the world's fastest growing religion? Evangelical Christianity, never known for being hip, is also recruiting more and more members in former slave-holding states of the American South. Even the Catholic Church, the largest religious hierarchy to ever support and condone the rape and molestation of children, is gaining members some places. Meanwhile Satanism stands in fourth place - yes ahead of Judaism and the Mormons but well behind every mainstream religion. Statistics don't lie and neither does Satan.

Jake: Satanists are becoming viable role models because they think for themselves. Christians, as you said, are rapists. I'd sacrifice a goat's head in order to save a woman's vaginal flower. That is the most precious gift you can give, and you should not have to put it on a silver platter and serve it to God as an appetizer. It is not artichoke dip. Why people tend to gravitate toward Satanism after trying out the other "it" religions is the sense of self it encourages and lack of rules. I gave my little sister the Satanic Bible for Christmas in 2001, and it helped her get over the September 11th tragedy. All the flags in America were not going to mend her broken heart, but Satan sewed it up with great aplomb.

Glenn: I'll be honest: I once tried Satanism. It was at a rough time in my life and I thought following the fallen angel could help me improve my life. Also, Satanism SEEMED cool in 2003 before Bush won his second term and before Garden State came out. After those things happened though I realized that I was never going to find what I needed as a Satanist and that Anton LaVey had no more answers than Zach Braff did for Natalie Portman at the end of the movie *SPOILER ALERT* after he decides not to leave. Moreover, Satanism is about as cool now as Garden State. No one quotes Garden State anymore and Zach Braff has done a string of movies so terrible that even Satan wouldn't show them on whatever movie theatre they have in hell (probably the IFC Film Center). So if you're the kind of person who still quotes Garden State and thinks its soundtrack was the pinnacle of music, maybe Satanism is for you. But for the rest of us who have moved on and instead quote Juno and KNOW its soundtrack was the pinnacle of music, let's leave Satanism behind like it's a baby for adoption. I was also that. Thank you.

20 comments:

  1. Wait, Zach Braff has been in movies since "Garden State"? I just assumed he died in 2005.

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  2. Satanists draw upside down pentagrams, we're going to have a horde of angry Pagans trolling the website!

    This article successfully solidified a decision I've been struggling with for the past few days and that was whether or not to go to Six Flags this year. Clearly, if Satan is rockin' the log ride, I'm going to drag myself to the pit of despair known as Adventureland.

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  3. i can't even begin to explain how hard i laughed reading this.

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  4. I'm with Maddie, this was incredibly funny (and informative).

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  5. Thank you for the kind words Bub & Maddie. When we write these, I'm never sure if they're going to be well recieved. I'm glad you found it entertaining and funny.

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  6. Are you kidding? I love these debates! They are some of the best things on OYIT!

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  7. Thank you! I like writing them and think they're funny, but you never know how other people feel about things. I love Life with Mikey, Scambait and Hot Rod, but they're some of the least read articles on OYIT. I usually laugh so hard I cry when I read Scambait and Hot Rod.

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  8. In my dimension hell is like your purgatory. It is filled with unbaptised babies. Satan is their babysitter and takes good care of them. I do not understand the religions of this dimension. Nobody babysits anybody.

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  9. Have you ever even read the Satanic Bible?? All the writers except Jake are hypocritical ignorant asses. I am a Satanist for 6 years now. I LOVE SATANISM, IT SAVED MY LIFE IN PRISON. I do not worship any deity but myself. I am Satan. Deities are made up, if I worship your deity I worship your idea, by proxy worshiping you. If I worship myself as a god, then i must act godly. Everything I do must be done to the best of my ability, because I am my own savior. There is no jesus christ. Heaven or Hell is here on earth, you save yourself from torture, or you condemn yourself. You are the devil of your own hell, or the lucifer of your own paradise. I hope its not on the rise. I hope no one else becomes Satanist. We are not here to impress. We are not here to join. I don't belong to LaVeys church, by his own recommendation in literature. Do some damned research.

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  10. i agree with everything that was just stated in dannys comment. i hate when people try too commercialize shit!! thats the exact kind of propaganda the media and the government try to pump into the minds of millions on a daily basis and it truly sickens me.

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  11. i agree with everything that was just stated in dannys comment. i hate when people try too commercialize shit!! thats the exact kind of propaganda the media and the government try to pump into the minds of millions on a daily basis and it truly sickens me.

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  12. You obviously have no knowledge of the subject..

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  13. You obviously have no knowledge of the subject..

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  14. You obviously have no knowledge of the subject..

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  15. To his/her is there own.

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  16. This was hilarious! A rather stereotypical view on Satanism along with false "Facts" combine with no actual knowledge of Satanism to provide a stupidly stupid opinion. (Hint: Satanists don't worship the devil www.churchofsatan.com) Don't worry, you wont be damned eternally if you visit that site ;)

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no more comments from spam bots. fuck off.

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