Good Morning from OYIT [Tues Jan 27th]

By Glenn

Good morning. I like writing this article because I always know how to open it - by wishing you a good morning. Unfortunately we here at OYIT are able to see our website views by hour and I know our viewership rises throughout the day and is really only the strongest at night. Most people appear to be reading this site in conjunction with recreational drug use and the 11:00 EST/10:00 CST local news. Nevertheless I soldier on and ask you late risers and even later website readers to please set your alarm for 8:00am CST and wake up every weekday morning to read about what's happening in your world.

[There isn't anything wrong with reading OYIT - or this post, even - at night, but this post will simply be more effective in the morning. The information is timely. The predictions for any given day could change your life. Please read all the way to the end for today's prediction.]

The weather, like our situation in life, never changes. We look at this map every day to see whether Florida will have tiny suns or tiny rainclouds and we look to see whether Cut Bank, Montana will be light blue, dark blue, or purple but these are superficial differences. It's always going to be warm in Florida, it's always going to be cold in Montana and it's always going to be dark when we look towards our future. To us, looking at this national weather map every day is like waking up and finding the same Ketamine pill morning after morning on our bedside table. We take it, but the best we can hope for is a slight change in the hue of the upper Midwest or one less snow cloud in Maine. That Ketamine is never going to change the actual map upon which these arbitrary colors are placed.

Today's Speech
The Governor of Missouri Jay Nixon will be delivering his State of the State speech this evening in Jefferson City. Like President Obama, Missouri's new leader comes into office with a whole host of problems on the horizon.
Nixon campaigned on expanding health care and college scholarships, but just as he took over, the state was hit with its worst downturn in revenue in six years.
He wanted to send kids to college but instead he's going to have to send them to jail. Instead of lowering taxes he'll have to raise them. And instead of forcefully executing black murders in cases where the victim was white and the public defender didn't raise serious objects over to the prosecution's handling of key witnesses, he will have to do it less forcefully. The speech will be in Jefferson City this evening so please carpool - our state's gas reserves are almost empty. Once they are, we're all going to be riding these.

Today's Library
Today's featured library brings us all the way out to Kanawha County, West Virginia. This county is the only one in West Virginia with a infant mortality rate approaching Pi, and the public library is a fantastic testament to the hard work and progressive tax structure put in place by the country government. Built approximately 100 years ago, it has withstood the test of time: two World Wars and an uncountable series of fires that burnt the building down to the old Native American cemetery it was built upon.

The Tiny Tots program will be running at 10am this morning, details below.
Tiny Tots
Contact: 304-343-4646
Storytime designed for ages 18 to 36 months.
Ages 18 to 36 months & caregiver
Location: Main Library
Today's Book: As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner

Today's Prediction
Those kids are not going to like that book.


  1. i am one of the few early risers who starts my day with this article and i like it !

  2. I'm with Kaleena on this one, except that my day is just ending and your articles give me sweet dreams!

  3. Good morning, Glenn. Thanks for your article. To me it's like cup of coffee that has cocaine instead of sugar and ephedrine instead of cream, and also the coffee is Adderall. I'm awake like a roaring fire on the top of Mt. Olympus.

  4. this is a much better reason for being late to work than losing my glasses. i depend on you now, glenn, to start my day the right way.