A Week in Review Through Haikus [1-18-08]

By Jake

As we all know, haikus are what Chinese people do instead of rapping. This is just another week in review of haikus. I promise no line of this will be as racist as the first sentence of this paragraph. Now, onto the fun.

You must be careful
When driving through the country
Avoid a ticket

Dean, your music is
Too loud. Through the walls I hear
Damn Radiohead

R.L. Stine's number
One fan in a performance
With Judith Light

George W. Bush
Interview transcript with Bub's
Cute daughter Iris

Your neck might be red
If you live in the South and
hate other races

Your neck might be red
If you murder animals
"God made them tasty"

Your neck might be red
If you believe N.P.R.
Is just for faggots

@God take a rest
@Adam don't eat apples
@Eve you are tricked

Hotel for Dogs stars
Hotel Rawanda's own Don
Cheadle. The same role

Lisa Kudrow and
Emma Roberts, Kevin
Dillon, Don Cheadle

Carl, Your Power Point
Presentation is pretty
Lackluster this time

Birds take down a plane
Hitchcockian disaster
Big Bird as Goebbels

Glenn says 'good morning'
Tells us about Blockbuster
Forgets the Lotto

Zack and Kelly's end
Jeff Hunter at the Attic
Kelly and Jeff's end

Zack and Kelly aren't
Saved by the Bell. It is not
All right, this happens

Circuit City closed
Best Buy is cheaper and gives
Me no vertigo

I buy Vertigo
From Best Buy, not from Circuit
City, it's cheaper

Bub takes the tram in
Australia, much craziness
Persists throughout trip

Dear Susan I'm dead
You accepted eggnog from
Greg. Egg on my face

More movies Brandon
Has not seen or heard of yet
He knows more than us

Tina made some
Banners for OYIT
Bub hates some of them


  1. off to shower now
    with many interesting
    thoughts to meditate

    damn....you're good, jake

  2. I love you Kal, but you couldn't haiku your way out of a wet paper bag.

  3. These do a good job
    of summarizing the week
    gone, not forgotten

  4. wet paper bagger
    grocery store bagger boys
    trying for a tip

    HA!!! take THAT wet paper bag

  5. admittedly not as good as you guys, but still i'm sorta proud

  6. Kaleena, my dear, you suck at haikus.

    Kaleena sucks at
    Haikus, so she should not try
    Bless you for trying

  7. haikus suck so bad
    or is it me? I think so
    maybe next time, sirs

    napkin white as snow
    dinner, tofu with peanuts
    napkin yellowed now

    came up with those last night....not to shabby