Good morning from OYIT [February 19th]

By Glenn

Good morning. Yesterday's GM post was a little sparse on comments, which I accept. I usually do two features besides today's weather but instead I only did one. You punished me the only way you knew how - withholding affection. If you want me to cover something different, all you have to do is email me by clicking my name. Alternately, you could post a comment in all capital letters asking me to feature something. For example, "THE WEATHER" or "WEBCAM SITE OF THE DAY." This column can only be as good as the people who comment on it, if when you say "people" you include me and if when you say "comment on it" you just mean write it.

[I am ready to write about the webcam site of the day; I already know which one it will be. You just have to ask.]

Today's Weather

I found this map last night when I was cleaning out my attic. The most interesting thing is that it includes Roswell, New Mexico, which was the home of where an alien spacecraft crashed in the 1950s. Most of our readers are probably too young to remember that, but it was a big deal. It was all the cable news channels would talk about for weeks. You would have thought the Alien was Gary Condit and the desert was Chandra Levy! Anyway, they have to keep the temperature above 60 degrees at all times down there to keep the aliens alive. That's why it's so warm down there, even as places like Sioux City, IA - full of ILLEGAL aliens - freeze to death.

Today's Business Card Offer
For those of you who think that because I am unemployed now I will always be unemployed, you are mistaken. Like a child, you confusedly believe that if you see something with your eyes, you believe it always to be true unless you see something different. You cannot conceive of a world where someone would hire me or where I would need business cards. The twist is that I have used business cards even when I was in college. They're always useful - and cheap, if you get them from Vista Print. If you order now and use the reference code "OYIT," you can get 250 business cards for only the cost of shipping, which somehow manages to be almost ten dollars. Nevertheless, if you want to pretend like you have a job or that you would ever have the need to network with someone, get some cards today.

And now a special feature from Jake...

Today's Twitter Request

Hi folks, Jake here. I have a special request. You know me, I never have asked you for anything and I never would unless it was of dire importance. Seeing as Good Morning from OYIT is the most popular section on this site, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity.

On Twitter (45 year olds, wipe those puzzled looks off of your faces) I am ranked number 2 in Hammond, IN, where I live. I am significantly behind the #1 person. What I would like to ask of you, the OYIT Nation, is to follow me on Twitter. My twitter page is Help me become number one and slay the beast who is number 1 right now. Thank you for your help. May Allah be with you on your daily quest.

Thanks Jake...

Today's Prediction
Jake will drop down to #3 by the end of today as many of his current followers feel neglected by today's pleas. It won't matter though because he'll start handing out business cards with his twitter on them at the grocery store or other public places. The rest of us need to find out what's really going on down in Roswell, and we will! But not today.


  1. Most of my followers are Maddie or girls with porn websites. I guess it's just girls with porn websites, actually.

  2. Thank you for the Gary Condit joke, it's been way too long!

  3. You should hang out with me more, Bub. I make Gary Condit jokes like OYIT makes 45 yr old jokes.