Good Morning from OYIT [Monday March 2]

By Jake

It's March, which can mean only one thing: it's American Red Cross month. I am mentally ill for giving blood. I'm like Blacula set on rewind. I know most of our audience is against doing what the months tell us, but I think in this case it is fine. You know that OYIT is anti-month specific events in general, but we are pro-giving blood. These two had a showdown and giving blood won, deal with it.

Today's Liquid
In honor of American Red Cross month today's liquid is blood. Blood is vital: it carries oxygen to our tissue for fuck's sake. Not to mention that it transports hormones. If you were a vampire you would probably drink it, but you're most likely not. If you are a vampire then send us a photo. Here's a picture of a vampire sitting in my desk chair that I took:

You obviously can't see the vampire, because one cannot photograph them. That's how you know I'm not lying.

Today's Fantastic Fishing Spot
Scusset Beach In Plymouth, Massachusetts is today's fantastic fishing spot. This is a great place to catch a striped bass. Plus there is a campground nearby so you can just relax, drink some beers and bro down while catching a nice quantity of stripers. I have a feeling that Scusset Beach is not only Today's Fantastic Fishing Spot, but also this year's number one fishing spot vacation destination. Enjoy the fishing.


As you can see via this map, today Chicago is going to be 23 degrees in homage to Michael Jordan's jersey number. Even the weather wants to be like Mike today. Unfortunately, I live damn close to Chi and am not thrilled by this tribute, but my heart is warmed. Lest we forget Jordan got us six NBA championships with the help of his fellow Bulls. The weather respects that, and I think we all can. The west coast seems to be having some pretty nice weather and I am very jealous. I'd kill a homeless person to have the weather be over 50 degrees. Instead it snowed all day due to lack of human sacrifice.

What Did You Do Over the Weekend?
I spent much of the weekend watching television. My fiance worked Friday evening, all day Saturday and Sunday morning. I was stuck at home and watched nearly two seasons of Black Adder, a few episodes of Deadwood, Brittas Empire, Ruddy Hell, It's Harry and Paul, plus the following movies: Mojave Phone Booth, Laura and Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. On Sunday, I went to dinner with my father at Chili's.

Please leave a comment about how you spent your weekend.


  1. it's true i worked most of the weekend. however, every morning i was able to catch some 'shark week' and when i got to work i read before hand. today i only have to work in the morning and i love these days because i don't like a lot of the public around and the week tends to be a lot slower than the weekends. that's how i spent my exciting weekend.
    btw jake, this turned out awesome despite your doubts. good job!

  2. I should also mention that I watched The Bikini Squad after I wrote this article. It was as wretched as it sounds.