Overheard at the Mall

By Jake

This has become a fairly popular feature. I honestly don't know why, but I give the people what they want. If they want things I hear at the mall, then so be it!

  • "Evening Shade: The Band!" (A man shouted this)

  • "If I try on one more polo shirt I'm going to hang myself." (said by a 50 year old man to his wife)

  • "Mighty Mouse could easily defeat Underdog. Underdog is a faggot." (said by the same 50 year old man to his wife)

  • "Of course the Orange Julius is great, but have you tried the Strawberry Julius? It's fabulous!"

  • "Where does one find a Reader's Digest in this series of stores?" (asked by a mustachioed man to a security guard)

  • "You basically have to special order a unicycle this day and age."

  • "Check out my Street Sharks tattoo, dude."

  • "I would literally kill a homeless person for some Panda Express right now." (said by a 20 year old girl)

  • "Julius Caesar was not as great as the salad that is named after him."


    1. I really don't get everyone's obession with Panda Express. Lame it up some more kids!

    2. I would never eat Chinese fast food. What could be more disgusting?

    3. if it's not made by chinese people, it's not chinese. at least in a mall - jake makes good chinese food, though he is not chinese.

    4. That's true, I make good Chinese food at the mall. I was trained by the best in the food court biz.