One Morning in Good [Friday]

By Glenn

Morning good. guest celebrity blogger had we last night. Head human weighing 8 pounds from you know him. Surprise bloggers future have we may. Weekend big up coming. Sports big basketball game Saturday THIS! Here, also, gun show fairgrounds at. Homicide accidental happen will it? Gun show at mean I, not game basketball. Guns equal number though will be there.

[I've always wanted to start my good morning post with a wildly unconventional, William Faulkner-esque opening. Imagine reading that garbage for 200+ faces and you've just lived through The Sound and the Fury.]

Today's Weather

Spring has evidently not yet sprung. Though here in Missouri (and in most of the Midwest) we were experiencing delicious Spring weather a few weeks ago, what approaches is much more sinister. I'm not talking about Mr. Sinister from X-men, but rather SNOW! Not the rapper, the precipitation. has a daily podcast and today they warned that this weekend will have more snow than any other weekend since the Ice Age. I find that a little hard to believe, but only because I dispute the existence of an Ice Age. We're getting snow and it's going to be awful. Consider this your podcast-related warning.

Today's Quote
There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating--people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde

Today's Basketball Team
I know I celebrated the MU basketball team recently, but I will celebrate them again after their hard-fought victory in last night's basketball game. The best part about basketball games is their simplicity: whoever gets the most points wins. Every game the Tigers go out and play they follow one simple strategy: score the most baskets. That's why they're now in the third to last round of the NCAA championship. The movie Blue Chips taught us about the corrupt world of college basketball and nothing has changed in the past fifteen years. The Tigers' success is in SPITE of this corruption, which makes it all the more impressive. You can watch them play late Saturday afternoon on CBS if you have a TV or if you have a fucking death wish.

Today's Prediction
Our guest column from Jon Lipnicki will be the most read column in OYIT history and will get picked up by the TMZ website (though sadly not the show). Once the MU Tigers win the NCAA championship, the entire team will be drafted immediately to the NBA in time for the playoffs. Jon Lipnicki will be there to help them learn how to read better, since no MU athlete reads about a third grade level. Oscar Wilde's corpse will claw its way out of its shallow grave, only to read the first paragraph of this post and think all communication in our society has descended into nonsense. Rather than live in a world like this, he'll simply wander back out into the snow and freeze back to death, just as he did in 1900.


  1. Today's prediction is absolutely frightening. Although, I do hope TMZ picks up that JL article.

  2. glenn, we really need to work on those sports flashcards again. for the LAST time--that picture you posted is of football NOT basketball. the helmet is the dead giveaway.

  3. sport-illiteracy is a serious problem that i think needs serious charity consideration. Glenn would make the perfect spokesman it would appear. Don't be ashamed, it's a serious affliction that can stand in the way of your dream to be the first college graduate to become a sports-caster.
    P.S. I rather liked the part of the prediction where Oscar Wilde crawls back into the ice and snow because of our absurd society. Hilarious!!