Tuesday Debate: Saved By the Bell Reunion

By Glenn and Jake

Nervous and terrible talk show host Jimmy Fallon has made it his personal goal to put together a Saved by the Bell reunion. He has recruited the lovable Dennis Haskins and even Bayside's answer to Ferris Bueller, Zack Morris as portrayed by Mark Paul Gosselaar. Fallon has a very immense mountain to scale to get Mario Lopez, Tiffany Theisen and Dustin Diamond to commit. Yet if he does succeed and a Saved by the Bell reunion movie is shot, would it be right? Does the world need to catch up with the Bayside gang or should their fate be left to our immaginations?

Glenn (Con): Do not make this movie. In these debates, we talk a lot about making movies, movies, Hollywood and carpeted floors, but I have never been more sure of anything in my life than the fact that this movie will kill millions of people. If not kill, then at least not entertain. This will certainly offend some of our readers, but I hate nostalgia bullshit. That's exactly what this movie would be. I'm fine with a reunion ON the Jimmy Fallon show. Morever, I watched the Mark Paul-Gosselar skit and thought it was kind of funny. But if we turn this into a movie, market it and then several people on my Facebook friends list see it, I will be furious. There's a lot more to this debate, but I want Jake to get his points in before I lay down anymore.

Jake (Pro): This movie could be a potential disaster. At this point, we're clearly speculating that there will be a movie. Who knows, maybe a one-off hour special on NBC. NBC is so desperate that they're likely to try anything for a little jump in the ratings. While I'm not huge into nostalgia and going to see movies or whatever based off of tv shows or games I played when I was a child, I know that I would definitely see a Saved by the Bell reunion movie or tv special. I would love to see where they'd take it and it could even be funny depending on who carefully it was written. This project should be pursued because a lot of the SBTB actors don't get a lot of work. Perhaps Lark Voorhies needs to make a payment on her car or Dennis Haskins might need a new set of golf clubs. Who are we to stand in the way of Jimmy Fallon's pet project?

Glenn (Con): I guess it's more that I oppose the idea in theory halfheartedly but the idea of it being anything other than a bit on Jimmy Fallon's show wholeheartedly. If it's just a bit on Jimmy Fallon it COULD be funny but could also be very sad. I've seen Richard Haskins in the past five years and he has not aged well. Lark Voorhies is homeless. I saw her on the subway in DC last week. Elizabeth Berkley's cocaine habit is legendary among those of us who were in the LA club scene of the early 90s, and by "us" I mean my parents. Would such a reunion help reignite the acting career of such low-lives as Dustin Diamond and the guy who played that weird-sounding black nerd? Sure. And as Jake said earlier in a private chat to me, he'd watch it if it happened. I'd watch someone getting killed or tortured if it were on TV, but that doesn't mean it's something that should happen. Jake, before you say I'm equating a SBTB reunion with killing, I'm not. I am equating it with torture though.

Jake (Pro): Richard Haskins? You are out of your mind! Dennis Haskins looks amazing for his age, weight and heart size. You can slander every member of the Saved by the Bell cast, classic or New Class, but it's not going to change my opinion. You're painting your argument with lies, instead of the truth, which is that this is going to be a great TV moment like when steroid abuser Mark McGwire hit all those home runs in baseball. If ten years from now some sucky talk show host wants to have a Lost reunion, Glenn would gladly tune in with baited breath. As far as I know, these two shows have little in common. While TV reunions can often be like tortue, this one will be like a day at the beach, Hawaiian style!

Glenn (Con): Remember when Transformers came out and people went to go see it because there was a cartoon version of it when we were children? That was a big, stupid movie that was about as entertaining as contracting autism for a month. Remember when they made a Land of the Lost movie because it was a TV show in the 70s and it bombed like the al-Askariya shrine in 2005? Nothing is different about Saved by the Bell. I understand why nostalgia exists and will openly admit to being gay and having seen every SBTB episode at least ten times. What I won't stand for is this movie. If this movie (or TV movie/special) is filmed, I will shoot the executive producer and one of the cast members on the set. The cast member will probably be Dustin Diamond since he's incredibly obnoxious. Before you try to have me arrested for threatening murder, I didn't say I would shoot them with a gun. I'll leave that up to our readers.

Jake (Pro): We could sit here and talk about shooting Dustin Diamond every day for a year, but that would not stop this film from being made and shown on NBC on a Sunday night. Dustin Diamond is one of the worst celebrities and stars in reality shows, which I hate. With that being said, I still think that a Saved by the Bell reunion movie could potentially be really fun. I do have nostalgia for SBTB and yes, I do realize that the Transformers movie was terrible. I would imagine the SBTB movie would be made for TV. I can't name one movie that was shown in a theater starring Mario Lopez and I could not imagine that ever happening. Jimmy Fallon sucks, but I can get behind him on this potential film project.


  1. Can't wait for the G.I. Joe movie!!!!!!!

  2. Granted this was not the most controversial topic of the week, but the people who search the internet for SBTB fanfic, quotes, et cetera are a sad bunch and will no doubt gravitate towards this site to read our wrap-up. Hopefully after, these pathetic, lonely people will stay to read the rest of our site. Welcome!

  3. Though most of you know this, I wanted to remind you that I hired Dennis Haskins to propose marriage for me to my current wife! It was the only way I could get her to say yes.

  4. i'm confused. i thought transformers was universally considered the best movie of 2007?


no more comments from spam bots. fuck off.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.