Good Morning [Christmas Already Sucks Edition]

By Katy

Christmas DID suck about five hours ago when I started writing this article, but that was before I actually bothered to check the weather radar and saw the bad weather was moving away from my travel route rather than towards. Christmas is about me, and now Christmas is awesome.

Today's Weather



Even though it's been raining for 35+ hours, challenging the open road through shields of unfrozen water will, in theory, be safer and less awful than the snow heading to the west. It's not good news to anyone working their way over there... but I suppose that's something you've already come to terms with if you're from Nebraska. As for everyone else in every other part of the country and/or world...good luck?

Today's Video



I stumbled upon a Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds album whilst looting a friend's bedroom one day and my immediate, obvious response was to scoff. But I decided maybe I should give Nick Cave another chance? I respect this individual's musical taste for the most part.. so I downloaded a number of songs (this being one of them) and even though Nick Cave still can't sing, I'm pretty sure this is the best song ever written. Case and point: "This is the weeping song, a song in which to weep." The overlapping minor melodies with Nick Cave's unnaturally flat, low voice provides a haunting, if not comical tune for all to weep to. It got me through a whole week without eating and I'm better for it. The perfect Christmas song.

Today's Theatrical Releases

It's Complicated



I'll just start off now by saying I'm not seeing this. I like Meryl Streep and even a little Alec Baldwin (playing the same character over and over and over oddly doesn't become exhausting), but the premise of this movie must be lost on me because I'm not an old, withered divorcee struggling to keep my affair with my ex-husband a secret from my recently divorced hired architect (Steve Martin) who's taken to fancying me and deciding whether or not I actually care to journey down the ex-road once more or explore this sappy new option. Need I say more? It's not so much complicated as a Yawnfest for the ages.

The Lovely Bones

The Lovely Bones is a novel written by Alice Seabold. I remember reading it first came out, in late middle school or early high school. It was a particularly dark book to read at that age because it's the story of a girl (about that age) who was murdered (and possible molested) named Susie. The entire story takes place from Susie's point-of-view, looking down on the world from her eternal resting place, a sort of "heaven" that's designed specifically for her. She basically watches her family go through all the emotions of losing a child or sister or grandchild, but she also watches her murderer as he covers his tracks and plans to murder another. It's actually very well written and the story moves along well, but I just can't imagine that transfers well to movie form. I'll watch it anyway. The book didn't mean anything significant to me so I don't mind seeing that emotional whirlwind yield across theaters. PLUS, when I first saw Mark Wahlberg's name attached to this flick I immediately assumed he was the murderer.. SPOILER ALERT: He plays Susie's father. I can't wait to see how he pulls that off.

Sherlock Holmes

Many of you have no idea that I've been complaining about the casting in this movie ever since I heard the name "Jude Law" because I don't talk to you or we're not friends. All that aside, why the frick is Jude Law playing Watson? I've seen my childhood mangled into pathetically tiny shards of waste before (you may remember my announcement about Leonardo DiCaprio is remaking The Neverending Story...so far no new news on that) but a thin, attractive, ponce like Law as Holmes' "go-to" man is beyond my comprehension. The summaries on this movie are few and far between, but I assume the duo will be searching out some sort of mythological creature to cast a spell on if about.com is right about Holmes' "revealing fighting skills" being "as lethal as his legendary intellect." I hope Jude Law proves me wrong. Oh yeah, Robert Downey Jr. is playing Sherlock, but that's probably workable. I should also mention Rachel McAdams; a extremely dynamic actress that afforded me the right to tag Ryan Gosling in this article. He is dreamy.

Today's Quotes of The Day

To help get everyone into the holiday spirit that you should already be in because the holiday is right now, I've asked a few people to tell me what Christmas means to them. Here are their responses:

Christmas is a jaded, corrupt holiday that people skew for their own selfishness. -J.S.
Christmas serves another reminder that my father never really cared about what I wanted but just gave me what he thought I would want. Thus, widening the void that has yet to be filled. -C.B.
Jesus died for this. -T.H.
Well I don't care about Christmas -Glenn


I hope that helps, but I'm certain it wont. Enjoy your Christmas!

6 comments:

  1. Thank you for this. Assuming you die on the way back to Geneseo, this will serve as your legacy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh what an even merrier christmas i will have! i am also offended by what hollywood is doing to my beloved childhood stories. if hollywood blew up tomorrow i would only cry for the innocent - if in fact they exist.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm not a very big fan of Nick Cave, but I enjoyed his work in the Birthday Party. Glad to see Katy's classic Friday GM back in the swing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. i love the green and red letters. it makes me feel like i'm 12 and chatting on AIM. gr8 good morning post, even though i read it at night.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Somehow you made 'It's Complicated' seem even more complicated than it probably is, which is good. Your attitude towards Christmas reminds me of Cathy's attitude towards carbs - unfounded and a cancer that will ultimately eat your soul. It was nice to see you on Christmas, and keep up the GMs!!

    ReplyDelete

no more comments from spam bots. fuck off.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.