Good Morning [Post Presidents Day]

By Glenn 

Surprise! I bet you were expecting Maddie, who usually writes the Tuesday good morning posts. But instead you have me. Surprise! I'm used to talking with you on Thursday mornings when the weekend is on the horizon and NBC's Must See TV is on that night. This Thursday would have been particularly special because Ash Wednesday is tomorrow. That's a big day for Christians because it's when Jesus was put to death by the Greeks for corrupting youth and impiety.

[I may be confusing Jesus with Socrates again. Remember, I went to an inner city public school and we had etch-a-sketches instead of computers.]

Today's Weather

or if you prefer

In case you are one of OYIT's many blind readers and I have to spell it out for you, it is W-I-N-D-E-E outside. When I was on the interstate earlier today, I felt warm enough to drive wearing just a t-shirt and without the heat on. This is because the sun is trying to warm the earth but Father Wind is doing his best to hurt people. In fact, when I pulled off the interstate I saw a man in tattered clothes holding a sign that said "Cancer Patient Any Help Needed." This would have been bad enough but he was also crying. Whether it was from the wind, the utter despair of his situation or both, the conclusion is still the same: life is cruel.

Today's Album Releases
This is a pretty big day in music, maybe even bigger than the day the Big Bopper's plane crashed or when Axl Rose reformed Guns 'n' Roses with Buckethead and Tiny Tim. A band called the Dum Dum Girls are releasing an album called Jail La La. Peter Gabriel has a new release called Scratch My Back, which I assume is full of adult contemporary songs. I don't know for sure though as the only Peter Gabriel song I know is Solsbury Hill. It was on the In Good Company trailer. Trailers are how I find out about new artists sometimes! That's how I first heard the LCD Soundsystem song "All My Friends" or the Red Hot Chili Peppers song "My Friends." Finally, there is a new album by Usher. I don't enjoy his music except for the Thong Song.

Today's Prisoner Dilemma
The US Census is happening this year, if ACORN can get their act together. Every time you start counting people there arises the question: where do prisoners really live? Under the current norms of counting, prisoners are counted where they live behind bars and not as citizens of the communities where they are from and will return to later. This means that your rural areas are getting extra people counted in their populations and the more urban areas where crimes are thankfully committed are slighted. The more people you have = the more political power you have, with the exception of North Dakota:
Peter Wagner of the nonprofit Prison Policy Initiative calls them "phantom constituents." In New York, they pad mostly white, mostly Republican districts that have been losing population. (courtesy NPR)

Today's Prediction
Peter Gabriel will be arrested and sent to a rural prison in New York after his new album causes impiety and corruption among people over 45. The Census will over represent him and other imprisoned pop stars because of the large number of hits they have. The memory of that cancer victim will eat away at me until I have to leave North Dakota and its harsh winds and go on tour with the Dum Dum Girls. They don't travel outside of Japan and the West Coast.


  1. i never knew geneseo was considered inner city! if i would've seen that man with that sign, i'd STILL be crying about it. thanks for covering me. i got a vasectomy yesterday and needed time to recoup.

  2. This was very funny.

    I really want to hear the Dum Dum Girls album. Also, I'm excited for Glenn to hear Grizzly Bear, now that one of his songs is in a car commercial.

  3. Good morning Glenn! I really enjoyed today's weather, and learned something from today's prisoner dilemma

  4. Oh, relevant: Peter Gabriel covered Vampire Weekend's song "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" after their first album came out because they sing about him.
    "And it feels so unnaturally, Peter Gabriel, too. And it feels so unnatural to sing your own name."