Message in a Bloggle

By James 

Good morning, readers. From where I’m standing (I stand when I write), in Iowa City, Iowa, the Earth has, for some reason, rotated seven more times on its axis, bringing us to another Monday. Today is a day on which we all suffer, and collectively mourn our own births, as individuals and a species, into a world we will soon die away from, having never really understood it or ourselves. As the Earth revolves around the sun, and we see the morning star “rise” in the west, let the vastness of the universe sink in, and recall that we, huddled together under this sky, on this planet floating out in the void of space, are not even a blip in the cosmos. On this accursed day, most of the citizenry return to their jobs or schools, to continue the trivial tasks they somehow find themselves toiling over, for no discernible reason, other than there is nothing else to do, and it is what class and social status have permitted as a living. It is this day we return from a mandated break from our day-to-day horrors, in this pillory we call civilization. If, on this Monday, when considering your wasted life, incomprehensible terror seizes you, and you begin gouging out your own eyes and emitting blood-curdling screams, do not be alarmed, it only indicates that you are still sane.

Now, for the weather! Today, snow in some places, and no snow in others! Perhaps, if you’re fortunate, some sunshine and physical warmth—but remember! The winter in your heart is year-round! And, if you haven’t noticed lately, the city you live in is still a shower drain full of debris you haven’t cleaned out since you moved in last August.

How sad we all should feel that it is Monday.

All of this talk of astronomy brings me to the topic of this Monday's post: science museums.

About a week ago, I went to a science museum in Boston, called “The Museum of Science.” I assumed this museum was for adults, and still do, albeit it was a museum for children, in the sense that most living people of adult age are emotionally children. This museum was not a real science museum. It did not have an exhibit about the scientific method—it did not have so much as a shower curtain with the periodic table of elements on it. What it did have was a handless drinking fountain operated by stepping on a pressurized platform, and a weather simulation exhibit I could’ve built in my garage (if I had a garage). Boy scouts of every age climbed through and jumped on every exhibit, as baby girls struggled to understand the history of mathematics. This did not seem like a museum of science to me—more like a children’s museum of science, paid for by taxpayers and presented as one of the greatest museums of our time.

Why am I telling you this? To demonstrate that everything in the world is run, built and maintained for double-digit IQs. This is why children shoot each other at school, some people don't know how to read maps, and so many people watch Jersey Shore, and not ironically. So, as you venture into this work week, find and understand the reasons why there is no hope for any of us anymore, such as regular science museums turning into science museums for babies of adult age.

Okay, that is my weekly allotment of randomly vomited words onto the internet.

Have a good Monday.


  1. my emotions are on a roller-coaster now that i will ride out through-out the day. good thing it's monday.

  2. dear god, does it feel gr8 to be alive.

  3. James this post is even more funny knowing this is probably 99% accurate in how you really view each day.

  4. hey, leave the puns to me, please.