Good Morning Miami

By Bub

Good morning

Today, 149 years ago, Abraham Lincoln was sworn into office. Fifty-six years later, same day still, Jeanette Rankin took her seat as the first woman to serve as a U.S. Representative. Seventy years after that, on this day, Ronald Reagan admitted to sponsoring Iranian sponsored terrorism in order to sponsor Central American terrorism in the Iran-Contra affair. Today, today, Ronald Reagan is being seriously discussed as the future face of our $50 bill, Sarah Palin is shopping a reality show, and Abraham Lincoln is being portrayed as a Vampire hunter in an upcoming Tim Burton film (to Katy and Nate's delight).

Today's Wisdom from the Unification Church of Reverend Sun Myung Moon

From The True Parents' History for Children:

For one month Father remained in the Pyungyang prison. Then he was transferred to the Tong Nee Special Labor Concentration Camp at Hung Nam, which is located on the northeast side of North Korea. This was not like an American prison, where prisoners might do light jobs and spend many hours in clean cells to write letters home, relax, or even work on their college degrees.

This prison was at a nitrogen fertilizer factory. There was a small mountain of hardened lime which the prisoners had to break up and haul to another place. They had to break up the lime, pack it into rice-straw bags holding eighty pounds each, weigh it, and take it off to the loading dock. Each group of ten men was responsible for loading 1,300 bags every day, which meant about one bag every half-minute. The bags were heavy. The lime made their fingers bleed with big sores.

Speaking of Sores:

President Reagan praising another Rev. Moon publication, The Washington Times:

The American people know the truth and you, my friends at The Washington Times, have told it to them. It wasn’t always the popular thing to do, but you were a loud and powerful voice. Like me, you arrived in Washington at the beginning of the most momentous decade of the century. Together, we rolled up our sleeves and got to work.

That's right, Miami Vice was more momentous than the Holocaust

Well, that was pretty exciting.

Today's Prediction

You will become so disenchanted by my omission of reference to the post's eponymous sitcom, and my courageous skewering of a dead president and reviled cult figure, that you will decide to write your best Good Morning Miami fan fiction, replete with vampire hunting slave freers and sores of many kinds.

Which brings me to a big announcement:

Today is the official start of the Annual One Year In Texas, Good Morning Miami Fan Fiction Contest. If you enter, you win. Make all submissions to I wish you luck.


  1. I hope a lot of people enter this contest! If this contest is a success then we can have more like winning an autographed copy of War and Peace (signed by me).


  3. bub, this was as great an article as you are a person. that mouth sore video made me hurt.


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