Emails From Mom! Part 1

By Nate

From time to time our mothers will pass along emails they receive from their friends who are over 45 years old and forward every crazy email they receive. Whether or not they believe the email is crazy is debatable. You could check Snopes, but when the email already says it's Snopes approved, why bother? Anyway, I'm sure you have received a chain email before, so I'll just let you read these:

CBS Did Not Stop Him!
Good for them!

Surprised CBS let him get away with this, even though he's right!

Andy Rooney said on '60 Minutes' a few weeks back:

'I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The
only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, which is why there are no
girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE ?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right 'NOT' to be tolerant of others because they are different,
weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling; it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a news paper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot you if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word 'freeze' or 'stop' in
English, see the above lines..

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars
to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich; I don't pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to
stand up to the kid and say 'NO!' when necessary.

I think tattoos and piercings are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of 'Political Correctness.' I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa, so how can they be 'African-Americans'? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.

And if you don't like my point of view, tough...


It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God.. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having 'In God We Trust' on our money and having 'God' in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the 14% to BE QUIET!!!


Scroll through the attached for info in the presentation.

You will never see this event again!


  1. "Cloud Magazine" is amazing. That's what we can rename OYIT after the revolution.

  2. Did you write these yourself? Completely gross.

  3. Wow...looks like good horse sense just stomped my liberal ass opinions...good job Mr. Rooney...time to take these DailyKos nose rings out of my face and start destroying the federal government.

  4. I have seen a lot of horrible forwards, but this is one of the best. They even got a defense of pro-wrestling in there. And multiple references to fast food service!

  5. It's a well known fact that Andy Rooney is an avid pro-wrestling fan. And, no I didn't write these, but my 13 year old self may have...

  6. Doesn't the whole "go and invent the next operating system that's better..." imply that Andy Rooney is a big fan of Microsoft when only a year ago, in the article Glenn (or Jake, I honestly don't remember) submitted to OYIT was in fact a video of Andy Rooney confounded by the concept of Microsoft? I thought he yelled at Bill Gates for eating his soul. Am I remembering this wrong?

  7. Yes, I posted that a while back. I might have deleted it sense, though.

    Pro-wrestling doesn't need a defense. You either like it or you don't. It's harmless, unless you're Droz.

    Andy Rooney is fucking great. This email reads like an intollerant verbose Life with Mikey column.


no more comments from spam bots. fuck off.

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