One Week in Entertainment

By Glenn 

Writing about entertainment is almost as easy as being an entertainer. It takes no formal education or special skills, just a pretty face and a willingness to sink lower than any of your competitors. Every week the goal of my column is to make Perez Hilton look like The Economist in comparison. Tell me if it's working.

As the most fitting segue, Kings of Leon the band were forced to cancel a show in my hometown of St. Louis, Missouri last week because a pigeon pooped in the lead singer's mouth. In New York, that's the nicest thing a pigeon can do to you and even in Missouri it's taken as a "good sign." You can't stop creating art because something shits in your mouth - some of the best art involves shit!

Speaking of, King of Queens was a television show about the NYC Borough I'm moving to. One of its more talented stars, Leah Remini (who plays the Queen of Queens, in a manner of speaking), has completed or will complete at least two different comedy projects in addition to appearing CBS's "The View" knock-off with the love of my life Sara Gilbert. Leah Remini is the new hardest working woman in show business.

Another hard working person in show business is Jim Belushi. He has a new show called "The Defenders" with Jerry O'Connell, who I've always liked. Since David Cross was a special comedian to me during my formative years, I hate Jim Belushi just like he does. Ultimately I hope the show fails but maybe Jerry can move onto something better. It is about lawyers in Las Vegas.

Ellen DeGeneres quit American Idol, much like Michael Jordan retired from basketball in 1997. She will be focusing on her talk show and a little minor league baseball. Why she felt the need to take on another project in addition to her very popular talk show is beyond me. I guess she likes money too! Just like Sara Gilbert.

Now some positive news: Rob Lowe will be joining Parks and Rec full-on as a cast member when the show comes back. He was previously playing a Indianan bureaucratic version of his character in Thank You For Smoking, but hopefully it will be sussed out. Also, the October 14th episode of 30 Rock will be filmed inside 30 Rock. I worked briefly in Rockefeller Center earlier this summer and should be making a cameo on the show.

There is a new DVD-selling strategy happening on Amazon. Amongst some of our favorite stars and directors, you can get 4-movies-in-1 packages, such as this one by Sylvester Stallone. I never thought I would be able to get Stallone movies for $1.88, including Demolition Man - the movie he did most likely to come true. Even more so than Rambo or the one about his mom shooting you.

Finally, the wedding event of the SEASON is today in Rhinebeck, New York. It's an old-money town two hours north of NYC and the perfectly secluded spot for the daughter of two former US Presidents to marry someone she met in college. I don't know if weddings are right or wrong, but I know there is nothing more exciting than watch two younger-ish people getting married in front of their friends and the watchful eye of the political-entertainment media. One day when my nephew marries one of Obama's daughters, I hope I am invited to the wedding. I will use it as an opportunity to speak out on robot rights and why we should recognize our moon colony's declaration of independence.


  1. Ihaven;t read this yet, but i DONt want it to go uncommented, I will read it soon, and share my pithy reaction@@!

  2. i can't wait for you to star in the remake of "king of queens!"

  3. Your hometown is Chicago! You and your bioloical father know this!! You're worse than Perez Hilton because you haven't made out with John Mayer!!!

  4. This was great! I love that you have unleashed the power of the transition.