Good Morning Sharks

By Stephen 

As Maddie noted yesterday, it's now August. And what does August bring? Fear, mostly. High murder rates, disappointing election results, the death of your summer fling, blackouts, heat-exhaustion, looting, etc. And Shark Week.

Today's Advice

I've never actually watched Shark Week. It isn't that I've avoided it; I just don't care. My experience with Shark Week is limited to the bit from 30 Rock where Tracy Morgan tells the page to "Live every week like it's Shark Week." This seems like bad advice to me. Try this instead: "Live every week like you just found out you're pregnant."

Today's Shark: River Shark

Contrary to popular belief there ARE freshwater sharks. Just something to think about for 5 seconds, which is longer than a shark can think about anything at all.

Today's Recommended Snack

Sharks aren't known as picky eaters, but there's one thing they crave: blood. Try it.


  1. I'm not sure how Shark Week became such a "thing" but I wish it would go away! This post is the first step towards making that dream a reality.

  2. August is my favorite month, shark week is my favorite week and THIS is my favorite GM.

  3. OMG! glenn, stephn: i'm so glad we feel the same way. i never "got" it. this was very funny.

  4. Kaleena loves Shark Week. I personally celebrate sharks every day of every week. Shark Week is sort of like Black History Month to me.

  5. Ha! Yes, Kal pretty much covered this, but thanks for solidifying OYIT's stance on sharks Stephen

  6. John Candy's GhostNovember 9, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    hey I'm scared of sharks thankfully never saw one when I was swimming or on the set of Great Outdoors