a beautiful day, to talk about myself! As I go on-and on about the time
in a college course, and a girl sitting behind me refuses to let me
contribute to discussions without her having a couple cents, amounting
to seventeen dollars and some change, of self recognition, you roll your
eyes thinking, “why did I ask her to be my friend...”
see, the thing is, I love that Nirvana song, when Curt warbles “I love
myself better than you.” I always think, if you met me, you would love
me equally, or more than I love myself at that moment, but as soon as
you leave my presence, I love myself while thinking about how impressive
I was to your life. What a blessing it is to be me. The phonies hate
those who got it all figured out, with an impressive resume loaded with
great references of those who liked me, because I loved myself so much
at all the various volunteer locations.
y’all, money isn’t everything. I once saw a man with no teeth and a
couple metal detectors looking for change at an abandoned playground.
Upon meeting him, I started to explain my goal of assessing the
playground for a Facility Management Course, and he swiftly responded
via hand gestures, No ears, No mouth. He was clearly more insane than I
am, and I marveled at that fact. How did he get so many metal
detectors? Could I buy one from him for 5 bucks? I bet I could make a
better turn out than he could. Most impressive, he had a jar filled with
Windex, sanitizing his found treasures. I smiled for a goodbye, and
loved myself for doing it.
recently saw a two dollar bill, and my friend was trying to find the
spider in the web, like it is on the dollar bill as well, and I just let
him sit there staring at currency thinking, “my goodness, I need so
much more than this in my day.” His reality was really bumming me out.
respect is a necessary aspect to any job. As I am currently a waitress,
I get a lot of guff from weirdos trying to disrespect me and my
temporary daily chores while working like a dog. If you feel the need
to tell me, “We’re going to throw away four pizzas when we get home” and
I say, Whaaaat? How could you? And you respond,”oh nothing you don’t
get it at all”, and your pink-ball cap wearing wife throws her head back
and laughs like a jackal. That’s cool dude, but you forgot one thing, I
don’t give a shit if you drive a Lexus because I knew a guy who threw a
cup of urine through a Lexus’ sunroof at the mall, and I hope it was
I think you get my point. If not, I will spoon feed it to you. My
world is better when you talk about your stuff because your eye contact
reminds me that I am being given attention. I wonder where I put my
iPod so I can upload all of my songs onto my iphone.
I, I, I ,I, I, You? Wait…me me me me me me me me me me. Yes. I did.