Is It Sexist to Compliment a Woman's Appearance?

By Jake and Glenn

President Barack Hussein Obama recently shocked the nation by calling California Attorney General Kamala Harris “by far the best-looking attorney general.”  Much like the way we felt when we found out Obama was born in Kenya, we were left aghast.  How dare a man in the highest position of power in the country tell a woman she is extremely attractive!  This debate will take a look at the sexism of compliments.  Is it sexist to tell a woman she is beautiful if you have no intention - or at least a direct intention - of fucking her?

Jake: As I stated in the intro, Kamala Harris is a very beautiful woman.  Yet, she holds a high political office in the state of California and deserves the respect of President Obama.  It is sexist to compliment a woman of lower authority than you when you are in the same field of business, without warrant.  If Kamala Harris and President Obama were having cosmos at a trendy nightclub and Harris was occasionally touching Obama’s hand while she laughs at his hilarious Kevin Hart impression, then it is acceptable to tell her she is beautiful.  Calling her attractive on the record is not fine.  Mr. President, if you want to jerk off to Kamala Harris, then so be it.  Just don’t tell the world.  It is great that you apologized to her, but apologize to your beautiful wife.

Glenn: There is nothing wrong with telling a beautiful person that he or she or ze is beautiful.  My male celebrity crush is on Peter Krause of Six Feet Under and Parenthood and if he’s gotten even half of the over three thousand blood soaked letters I’ve sent him in the past ten years, his self-confidence is surely bolstered by proclamations of his beauty.  Granted I’m not his boss, but on the set of Six Feet Under are we really to believe homosexual Alan Ball never complimented Peter on his appearance or had sex with him?  Our political Alan Ball, Barack Obama, never even made a pass at Kamala Harris - he simply pointed out that she was a good looking in comparison to other Attorneys General.  While she would be thought of as a “nice looking human” based on the normal, acceptable standards of our fascist, superficial culture, when you compare her to an old mole person like Arizona AG Tom Horne she looks as beautiful as Suzanne Somers in the height of the 1970s.

Jake: President Obama crossed a line.  Not only was this offensive to women, as a whole, but also to every other Attorney General.  If I were Kathleen Kane, also a very attractive woman, I would be livid.  Unfortunately, I am trapped inside the body of a man.  This debate could easily turn into a discussion of whether Kathleen Kane is more attractive than Kamala Harris, but I am no sexist, and therefore shall refuse to press on with that line of thought.  Perhaps President Obama was trying to be funny, much like Michael Richards’ attempt at using humor to diffuse a heckler, which he did by shouting the word “nigger” at his target.  Obama is a better person than Michael Richards in every single way, but his comment was a misguided attempt at cracking wise.  Leave the wise cracks to the characters on the USA Network’s flagship program “Psych.”

Glenn: Of course he was trying to be funny!  This is a strategy that usually works - it allowed him to be reelected and helped him overcome opposition to passing new gun regulations.  In this case, his joke was just a little off because he didn’t understand the terrain we’re all in post-Stuebenville.  Apparently it’s now “wrong” to perpetuate a sexist culture where women are treated as objects?  If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.  Obama has said men are good looking too, which raised no objections amongst the chattering classes.  In an appearance on Oprah he said he would love to “screw” Channing Tatum.  I might agree with that, but I definitely agree with the idea that the President should be celebrating the best looking among us.  In our culture, being attractive is literally the most important trait one can have.  Who better to recognize it than our divine ruler?

Jake: Unlike my esteemed colleague, Glenn, I do not want our President to judge a bikini contest at various Hooter’s restaurants across this sprawling wasteland of commerce.  I would like our president to sit in his office--it’s in the shape of an oval, fyi--and tell people to kill terrorists with drones.  Why can’t the President rule our nation with an iron fist, instead of voting in a real life Hot or Not?  And if this were Hot or Not would he rate Kamala Harris a solid 10 or a mere 8?  Personally, I rate every woman a 10 on Hot or Not, and that isn’t even a joke.  What is a joke is Glenn telling us that Obama should not have a sexual harassment lawsuit filed against him by the state of California.  

Glenn:  If I truly believed Obama was in his heart of hearts a sexual harasser, I would be arming myself and trying to force my way into many of his public events - just like many patriotic White Americans fantasize about in message boards all over this great internet.  But I think he was trying to make a joke and forgot that in today’s society, men are the victims.  Case in point - would a woman ever be as viciously attacked as Obama was if she had simply said he was our “best looking President?”  Before you answer that question, look into your heart and look into the Men’s Rights Subforum on Reddit - the same Reddit Obama once took questions from.  If some young girl with a fragile self-image nervously asked our President if she was beautiful, wouldn’t you want him to lavish her with the same compliment he gave to AG Harris?  As a father, as a former Californian, as a devout Redditor, I know I would.  Thank you President Obama.

2 comments:

  1. Not sexist, but inappropriate. We do not want our president to pierce the veil to his humanity when we expect him to personally type in the coordinates of drones' bombs that murder children in the interest of our national security worldwide.

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  2. I did not finish this all because I am at "work" where there are supposidly "work related issues" to attend to but I will say this: don't compliment me if we aren't fucking. Okay, I take that back immediately. If I don't get complimented EVERY time I go out in public, that's one more mark in my arms and they are looking really rough these days.

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