By Jake and Glenn
President
Barack Hussein Obama recently shocked the nation by calling California
Attorney General Kamala Harris “by far the best-looking attorney
general.” Much like the way we felt when we found out Obama was born in
Kenya, we were left aghast. How dare a man in the highest position of
power in the country tell a woman she is extremely attractive! This
debate will take a look at the sexism of compliments. Is it sexist to
tell a woman she is beautiful if you have no intention - or at least a
direct intention - of fucking her?
Jake:
As I stated in the intro, Kamala Harris is a very beautiful woman.
Yet, she holds a high political office in the state of California and
deserves the respect of President Obama. It is sexist to compliment a
woman of lower authority than you when you are in the same field of
business, without warrant. If Kamala Harris and President Obama were
having cosmos at a trendy nightclub and Harris was occasionally touching
Obama’s hand while she laughs at his hilarious Kevin Hart impression,
then it is acceptable to tell her she is beautiful. Calling her
attractive on the record is not fine. Mr. President, if you want to
jerk off to Kamala Harris, then so be it. Just don’t tell the world.
It is great that you apologized to her, but apologize to your beautiful
wife.
Glenn:
There is nothing wrong with telling a beautiful person that he or she
or ze is beautiful. My male celebrity crush is on Peter Krause of Six
Feet Under and Parenthood and if he’s gotten even half of the over three
thousand blood soaked letters I’ve sent him in the past ten years, his
self-confidence is surely bolstered by proclamations of his beauty.
Granted I’m not his boss, but on the set of Six Feet Under are we
really to believe homosexual Alan Ball never complimented Peter on his
appearance or had sex with him? Our political Alan Ball, Barack Obama,
never even made a pass at Kamala Harris - he simply pointed out that she
was a good looking in comparison to other Attorneys General. While
she would be thought of as a “nice looking human” based on the normal,
acceptable standards of our fascist, superficial culture, when you
compare her to an old mole person like Arizona AG Tom Horne she looks as
beautiful as Suzanne Somers in the height of the 1970s.
Jake:
President Obama crossed a line. Not only was this offensive to women,
as a whole, but also to every other Attorney General. If I were
Kathleen Kane, also a very attractive woman, I would be livid.
Unfortunately, I am trapped inside the body of a man. This debate
could easily turn into a discussion of whether Kathleen Kane is more
attractive than Kamala Harris, but I am no sexist, and therefore shall
refuse to press on with that line of thought. Perhaps President Obama
was trying to be funny, much like Michael Richards’ attempt at using
humor to diffuse a heckler, which he did by shouting the word “nigger”
at his target. Obama is a better person than Michael Richards in every
single way, but his comment was a misguided attempt at cracking wise.
Leave the wise cracks to the characters on the USA Network’s flagship
program “Psych.”
Glenn:
Of course he was trying to be funny! This is a strategy that usually
works - it allowed him to be reelected and helped him overcome
opposition to passing new gun regulations. In this case, his joke was
just a little off because he didn’t understand the terrain we’re all in
post-Stuebenville. Apparently it’s now “wrong” to perpetuate a sexist
culture where women are treated as objects? If that’s wrong, I don’t
want to be right. Obama has said men are good looking too, which raised
no objections amongst the chattering classes. In an appearance on
Oprah he said he would love to “screw” Channing Tatum. I might agree
with that, but I definitely agree with the idea that the President
should be celebrating the best looking among us. In our culture, being
attractive is literally the most important trait one can have. Who
better to recognize it than our divine ruler?
Jake:
Unlike my esteemed colleague, Glenn, I do not want our President to
judge a bikini contest at various Hooter’s restaurants across this
sprawling wasteland of commerce. I would like our president to sit in
his office--it’s in the shape of an oval, fyi--and tell people to kill
terrorists with drones. Why can’t the President rule our nation with an
iron fist, instead of voting in a real life Hot or Not? And if this
were Hot or Not would he rate Kamala Harris a solid 10 or a mere 8?
Personally, I rate every woman a 10 on Hot or Not, and that isn’t even a
joke. What is a joke is Glenn telling us that Obama should not have a
sexual harassment lawsuit filed against him by the state of California.
Glenn:
If I truly believed Obama was in his heart of hearts a sexual
harasser, I would be arming myself and trying to force my way into many
of his public events - just like many patriotic White Americans
fantasize about in message boards all over this great internet. But I
think he was trying to make a joke and forgot that in today’s society,
men are the victims. Case in point - would a woman ever be as viciously
attacked as Obama was if she had simply said he was our “best looking
President?” Before you answer that question, look into your heart and
look into the Men’s Rights Subforum on Reddit
- the same Reddit Obama once took questions from. If some young girl
with a fragile self-image nervously asked our President if she was
beautiful, wouldn’t you want him to lavish her with the same compliment
he gave to AG Harris? As a father, as a former Californian, as a devout Redditor, I know I would. Thank you President Obama.
