One Week Entertainment [1-24-09]

By Jake

I'm back to skin pop you with sweet lady entertainment news. Every Saturday morning you'll be able to get a little EN. The sweet release you get from entertainment news will fill your adult life with some meaning. I'm not saying entertainment news is like drugs, I'm just implying it.

Sarah Palin is looking for $11,000,000 for a book deal.

Kelly Osbourne was arrested for singing in public. Then checked in rehab for being addicted to being horrible.

The day after the inauguration of Obama, Usher went to a grade school to help out. Usher should star in a remake of Back to School and play the Rodney part. He's got the acting chops!

Lily Allen went to the "nuthouse" after a miscarriage. There's nothing funny about this! Unless you think miscarriage is funny. The only time I think that's funny is if somebody is trying to jump from one carriage and to another and they miss (and only if that person is a murderer).

The Academy Award Nominations came out. Click Here for our coverage of the Best Picture nominees and our picks.

Leading the nominations for the Razzies are Mike Meyers (of Halloween) and Paris Hilton. I hope they don't invite Meyers to the event, he might kill everybody.

Matt Dillon pleads not guilty to speeding. I believe him.

Caylee, the dead little girl, was burried after being duct taped. She was burried with a Winnie the Pooh blanket. I'm sickened by the lengths Disney will go to for product placement.

Merle Haggard is still alive. He just had lung cancer surgery. I assumed he was dead.

Katy Perry's legs are open for business (bizness or bid'ness, perhaps).

Jacques Chirac was bitten by a real life Kujo! His dog was depressed and bit him. Fuckin' a!!!!!!!!!

Patrick Swayze is going to pen memoirs. The pen is mightier than the sword in the fight against cancer.

Jamie Pressley is flaunting her post-baby body. What a diva!

PCU star, Jeremy Piven, went bananas during a photoshoot and ripped the arms off of his shirt. He yelled, "I hate these motherfucking sleeves. How dare you put me in these bullshit sleeves! I was in motherfucking PCU, asshole!" What a diva!

Molly Ringwald is expecting twins. Congrats Molly.

Three people were arrested in an extortion plot against John Travolta. Remember when Travolta kissed that dude?


  1. Should I bother doing these anymore?

  2. I liked it! But it's a Friday article. You can't expect too much feedback when everyone's getting ready to watch Full House.

  3. I know. I was just wondering if people liked it. I tried a different edge with it this time that I feel works better. That edge being delivering jokes along with straight entertainment news.

  4. you should definitely continue to do these - they're so hilarious !!
    btw, i think that john travolta kiss looks more friendly than gay - i just can't believe he's gay. i am in love.....sorry, hun


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