TV Show Idea: Long Shoreman

By Jake

Last week I pitched an idea for a TV show starring Dick Butkus, and my email inbox was filled to the brim with insulting tirades. They mostly said that Dick Butkus is too old for the role. Well, that's your opinion. I decided that I'd pitch another idea featuring a younger actor: Howie Long.

Howie Long stars as a Coast Guardsman named Harold Long. He is in the twilight of his career, but still gives his job the full 110% that it demands. He is the Captain of a team of maritime law enforcers. Consider this like NYPD Blue meets Baywatch.

Long's crew is the number two ranked Coast Guard branch in the USA. He wants to go out on top, so he pushes his crew extra hard. A wrench is thrown into his plans when a ne'er do well hippie, Tyler Happs (played capably by Jamie Kennedy), joins his team. This adds a slight comedic element to an otherwise hard-hitting drama series.

Harold's goal is to become a Chief Warrant Officer before he retires. Long has to first whip Happs into shape before he can even apply for that position. Tyler just wants to nap and hit on the female Coast Guardsmen. Long is there to teach him that there is more to life than chasing women and partying, and Tyler is there to show Long that you can't control everything in life and sometimes it's okay to not take everything so seriously. They laugh and learn.

While you might thing this is already sounding like a show that could last for 9 seasons, allow me to introduce you to the third heat: Ron Silver! Silver stars as the most hated and devious Coast Guardsman, Ron Silverly. Silverly is a bitter man, who wants nothing more than to take Long's chance at retiring as a CWO away from him. Ron and Harold were once friends as new recruits, but Silverly's girlfriend dumped him and started dating Long. She died in a tragic boating accident that nearly took Long away from guarding the coasts, but he rose above the tragedy like a phoenix with an iron will.

Silverly is ranked under Long and is part of his crew. He tries to steer Tyler Happs toward the dark side, while Long tries to instill discipline in him. It's a never-ending battle of good and evil. Happs tends to lean more toward Long, but is also enticed by the wild parties Silverly is legendary for. Long Shoreman is sure to entertain, and maybe we'll even learn a little about ourselves and about the Coast Guard, the unsung heroes of the United States Armed Forces.


  1. I laughed and learned as I read this!

  2. Tyler Happs is a perfect name for a Jamie Kennedy character. This show would be like The Jamie Kennedy experiment in that ultimately the joke is on the viewers!

  3. That girl wrecked the boat when she was blinded by Silverly's forehead... sure, it was kinda his fault, but "devious" is a bit harsh.

  4. Why hasnt this show shot a pilot yet. I love Howie long in everything he is in. This could be his The Wrestler!

  5. I remember the "good old days" when Heather used to be a part of this site and when Jake used to give us TV show ideas. His last idea was "2 Broke Girls."