Good Morning From OYIT [Thurs March 5th]

By Jake

Good morning once again. I'm here once again, although I'd rather not be, to tell you the truth. I'd rather be writing something fun instead. Well, let's treat this like a bandage and pull it off quickly to get it over.


Looking at this map you can see two things: 1)I live in the United States 2)It's going to be over 50 degrees in Chicago tomorrow. If you don't live near Chicago or you don't live in the US, then I cannot help you this morning. I'm going to open my house up and let the stale air flow out of my windows like blood from the neck of a beheaded chicken. Unlike a beheaded chicken, the air will not run around, thankfully. Rather, the air will hopefully just circulate and I'll be able to get some fresh air instead of taking in the smell of fried food every time I inhale.

Outdoor Activity of the Day
Put on a pair of sneakers and take a walk through town. After being cooped inside for most of the winter it's finally time to get off of your bottom and get some exercise. We all weigh well over 300 lbs at this point, but we need to collectively shed those holiday pounds. I gained at least 30 lbs from my fried catfish dinner last night. I plan on walking 30 miles, losing one pound per mile. I'm also planning on my feet swelling to the size and shape of footballs. One hope I have is that the city of Hammond, IN, will not all read this, as to not congest the sidewalks with other overweight walkers.

Music Video of the Day

This is one of the best songs ever recorded by the best band to ever play to an audience of five, Complete. This video has everything: a band playing live, a dude wearing a Dr. Seuss hat and a girl line dancing by herself.

That's all I can manage to do today. Hopefully somebody else will be willing to honor us with a Good Morning article tomorrow. Have a good day, kids.

1 comment:

  1. written like a man facing a firing squad - they can kill the man but they can't kill his humor before he dies.
    i will have to watch the video later, but the description is too tempting. i can't wait!