Good Morning from OYIT [Wednesday, March 25]

By Nate

Good morning, readers! Did that greeting sound more hearty than usual? Well I wrote it heartily because I've been eating my mother's home-cooked meals for the last few days. That's right. It's spring break, and I am once again spending it in Poplar Bluff, Missouri!!!

[Note: it doesn't always look like that, but a year ago a large portion of Poplar Bluff was under water, and the Black River Coliseum was used as a shelter much like the Super Dome was in NOLA during Katrina as its Wikipedia page notes.]

It's not too terribly exciting here, but it definitely is more boring than some of the road trips a few of my friends keep tweeting about. If I get really bored I'll probably go to Scooters or most likely the Highway W Club because they have jello wrestling there which a common Spring Break activity I'm told.

Today's Weather:

As you have come to rely on with all my GM posts, the very accurate, color-coded weather map from NOAA:

To see what the colors mean, just click on this link to Be careful! There could be a heavy freezing spray warning, ashfall advisory, child abduction emergency, red flag warning, gale watch, fire weather warning, or civil emergency message in your area!

Holiday of the Week:

Monday was National Puppy Day. How did you celebrate? Since I am taking two beagle puppies back to Columbia with me this weekend, I celebrated by getting them new leashes, collars, chew toys, bowls, treats, a travel carrier, and a new house!  I chose to take two male twins of the litter of seven. I named one Levon Helm and the other name, Andre 3000, was chosen by an online poll I conducted of a list of names I had provided. Andre 3000 was chosen by one vote over Senator Thomas Hart Benton. And you thought the 2008 Minnesota senate race was close!!!

Here is a picture of the pups (Andre right and Levon left):

Blog of the Day:

The blog of the day is my blog, I know I already posted about my new blog last week, but I really don't care.

The other blog of the day is Barack Obama's Teleprompter's Blog. I know you're all thinking "what is he doing promoting a right-wing blog?" Well don't worry. Unlike every other attempt at satire by the vast, right-wing conspiracy, this blog is pretty funny. I applaud the writers for restoring my faith in conservative satirists even if they feel the need to censor the word douchebag on their site.

The other other blog of the day is Strange Maps. I like maps. This site has some really nice maps of European politics in Poland and Ukraine as well as a great comic about WWII where the characters are maps of their respective countries. That is all.

Spring Break Activity of the Day:

Make your own Beer Bong!
Tired of your bro's bongin' all your beers this week? Well just follow these instructions and you'll be bongin' with the best in no time!

Step 1. Get a funnel with a good sized nozzle that fits into a length of tube or hose about 3-4' long and some duct tape. Every good DIY project should require duct tape.

Step 2. Insert the funnel's nozzle into one end of the tube. If you want, you can make a pre-meditated quip about sex to impress your bro's as this action could be construed to represent sexual intercourse to the average teenaged male.

Step 3. Oops, I forgot to mention before you insert the nozzle into the tube, you may want to wrap the nozzle with duct tape a few times to ensure a good, tight fit so the funnel is protected against spills much like you wrapped your penis in a condom before you inserted into that girl's vagina last night to ensure she wouldn't get pregnant or catch an STI, right?

Step 4. If the funnel is still loose, you completely failed at buying the right sized funnel/tubing you drunken frat boy, but this can be remedied by wrapping more duct tape around the tubing and the nozzle.

And that's it! Now pour the beer into the funnel and suck it down just like these Hawkeye fans and John Kerry!

Board Game of the Day:

Blokus: Trigon edition.

This is an expansion of the original Blokus game which was based on square version of what you see pictured above (apparently you can also play online.) My family has been playing the original game for a few years, and we played the Trigon edition for the first time as a family Monday night. It's pretty tough and involves strategy and good spacial reasoning skills. I've played it with my friends, and I would recommend it to anyone. I bet Mikey would spend hours upon hours playing it.

Final Thought

Well, I hope this was more than a good morning, but also a good week post for you. It had a little bit for everyone: puppies, beer bongs, teleprompters, and board games!

I know hump days can be tough, but just remember, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade!


  1. i love puppies - and beer bongs. the greatest night ever would consist of multiple beer bongs (none of which i can take), puppies and that game 'Blokus'. what a grand spring break!

  2. You are a total shill for the National Weather Serivce! They are your Arby's and you are their Mikey.


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