Good Morning [April 14]

By Jake

Good morning. I hope you kids had a great Easter, something Glenn did not address because he thinks the resurrection of Christ is nothing but religious "hooey" (I would never use that word, but Glenn throws it around like David Duke does the n-word). I went to my grandparent's house for Easter dinner and played with my baby sisters. They are adorable and Kathy, nearly 2, speaks Spanish and English. I can do neither.

Do to issues I cannot go into, I am no longer able to do a weather section. I'm sorry if you were relying on me for your daily dose of the current climate, but it's just out of my hands. Instead I will write some haikus about the weather:

Today there is rain
To keep your suit nice and dry
Wear a raincoat please

Could it be sunny?
Aye, but it is still cold out
Dress in a sweater

Ice is everywhere
Everybody is dying
The end of the world

I know that last one is a bit drastic, but you can never be too prepared for the local weather.

Today's Picture of Ghandi

Today's Crazy Sport
SlamBall is a mix of basketball and trampolines, which is a surefire recipe for success. At first I was going to talk about how this sport failed, then I learned that it not only succeeded, but it's still on television. In a few short months it's going to make its debut on the Cartoon Network. I hope everybody tunes in and we have ongoing roundtable discussion about the classic games they are surely going to put on. I'm going to put my money on the Hombres. I just have a good feeling about them this year. If you're a betting person, I definitely suggest you mortgage your home and put all the money on the Hombres for the win. Please leave your picks for this upcoming and exciting season of SlamBall.

Last, I will leave you with a heartfelt prayer for you to have a good day.
Dear Lord,
Please let all of the readers of One Year in Texas have a safe day. Even if the world does end tomorrow, please leave all of our readers behind so that they might continue to read our website and boost our traffic. Also, please let the Hombres win this upcoming season of SlamBall so that I don't look like a complete douche. Amen.


  1. People did not like this, huh.

  2. Sorry I just read it now. The picture of Ghandi probably offended our Indian readership.

  3. Indians are our biggest demographic. They love our articles about treating cows better than humans.

  4. i liked it! i printed out the prayer even!

  5. i just got to reading this as well but i totally dug it.
    i especially loved the haikus (which i miss) and the picture of ghandi (whom i also miss).