Life with Mikey [4-13-09]

By Mikey

Howdy folks. I just got back from my annual vacation to a dude ranch in Texas. It was a good time. I learned how to drive cattle like in the movie City Slickers. My wife got annoyed with me because I called every cow "Norman."

  • Try as I might, I can't figure out what's going on this season of Lost. Personally I prefer shows you can miss a few episodes and still enjoy, like Everybody Loves Raymond.

  • Am I the only one who longs for the days of lemonade stands? Country Time Lemonade is a real thirst-quencher, but when I was a kid we'd pick some lemons off a tree and go into business. Business usually lasted until we drank all the product.

  • It seems like nobody is talking about the Houston Rockets anymore.

  • Mr. Magoo is blind-- I get it, okay!

  • The XFL died a premature death, in my humble opinion.

  • If you serve me mashed potatoes and don't give me gravy, prepare for me to scream.

  • When I heard Arby's added the Roastburger to their menu, I had to check the calender to make sure it wasn't my birthday. It wasn't.

  • Mountain Dew's Code Red is like mother's milk to me.

  • People usually forget how funny Michael Winslow's stand-up comedy is. They usually just remember him from his fantastic performances in the Police Academy films.

  • When my son tells me "the last time I heard that I fell off my dinosaur" I feel like I'm going to turn into the Incredible Hulk and hurl his stupid scooter into the sun.

  • It was amazing how fast parachute pants went out of style.

  • You'll never catch me jumping on the Twilight bandwagon.

  • Would anybody else go see a movie about the Noid? I don't mean to be living in the 80s, but that guy was really cool even if he did hate pizzas.

  • Seems like everybody who sends me an email wants to send me money these days.

  • I'm not a big fan of Tupac's rapping, but his performance in Poetic Justice is very moving.


  1. You need to learn to be more patient with your son, Mikey.

  2. Mikey you should get on the Twilight bandwagon. Fellow OYIT writer Maddie has read all the books and always tells me how great they are.

  3. Kaleena has also read all of the Twilight books.

  4. Glenn was too busy watching the Traveling Pants Sister 2 to see Twilight.

  5. Mikey, if you dont like mashed potatoes without gravy, never play in a band with Billy Bob Thornton in Canada.

    Also, one of my friend's dad growing up was a Dominoes Pizza manager and he had a Noid suit. It was great! I would go see that movie with you.

  6. i thought canadians loved gravy? hmmm....
    the twilight books are wonderful and i am not ashamed to love them.
    maybe you SHOULD hurl your son's scooter to the heavens and shut that little punk up! just don't hit him with it - that's abuse.