Good Morning OYIT [April 17, 2009, East Coast Edition]

By Katy

Good morning kiddies! It's so nice to be back on good morning Friday, if only for the week. I've been anxious to share the great news with everyone that transpired since my last GM article. Chronic readers may recall, last week on April 7, 2009 I called out the East coast on being way less progressive than Iowa. Then what happened mere hours later? That's right, everyone. The great news? Every single person in Vermont starts their day with a frothy helping of OYIT! That's more awesome than Jake being #1 in his area on Twitter! Thanks to this new knowledge I can now spend everyday a little more proud to be a OYIT contributor and super proud to know all you lovely people (including Vermont) heart us with a passion. You're up, Delaware.

Today's Weather

Here's a little something for our esteemed elitists. You are going to have one beautiful day (unless you happen to be Maine. Maine never has good days). Nice 60's and 70's up and down the coast and barring any precipitation or wind patterns I haven't bothered mastering into this equation, you'll be partyin' away on that beach in no time! But don't yet. It's April and school will be wrapping up here pretty soon for all you Ivy Leaguers and this is definitely the time to crack down. With all the wasteful spending the American people are contributing to with their lavish tea parties, we're gonna need some smarties from Harvard and Yale workin' together to provide a nationwide presentation on taxation without representation. Also, we're pretty much welcoming the new generation of bankers with open, pleading arms.

Today's Theatrical Releases

  • Crank: High Voltage
    Tagline: He was dead...but he got better.

    Apparently this is a follow up to 2006's Crank which I have never heard of and therefore have never seen. From what I can gather, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor are creating a series of movies where this guy Chev Chelios has a lot of trouble keeping his heart under control. Jason Statham plays an assassin who is constantly getting shat on by Chinese mobsters. Relate much? In High Voltage some fellow steals his heart and replaces it with a battery powered heart which requires constant "high voltage" to keep it working properly. I find this premise so boring I stopped writing this post to watch Mulholland Dr. and found it riveting.

  • State of Play
    Tagline: nothing is off the record.

    I suppose there are plenty of people out there who want to see this movie. I am totally not one of them. Ben Affleck and Russell Crowe really aren't my joint. Russell Crowe plays a witty reporter, Cal McAfferty, who digs deep to uncover the truth behind some random happenstance. Affleck plays Congressman Stephan Collins, the "Bob to Crowe's Jay" if you will. The movie turns into classic Noir as these two butt heads and hearts throughout the film to discover the truth behind a few mildly important homicides. There's also some doll named Della in it. I just watched the director's cut of Mulholland Dr.

  • 17 Again
    Tagline: Who says you're only young once?

    It's going to shock everyone that this is my first choice for today's movie selections, but I say, give it a chance. We've all heard the whining and moaning, and probably participated ourselves, about how this idea has been done time and time again. Wrong. While we may have seen moms switching bodies with daughters, sons switching bodies with dads, a young boy or girl finding themselves grown, or an angry Kathleen Turner getting a second chance at high school, we have yet to see a grown man reduced to his high school self. That makes this a new idea. I actually thought the tagline was more of a rip off than the premise, but when I IMDB'ed Peggy Sue Got Married in hopes of discovering the same one, I instead found "...or did she?" Way, way better. Anyway, what two Hollywood men are more charming than Matthew Perry and Zak Efron? Answer: zero. In fact these guys have so much game I might have to watch the movie in shifts just to keep my roaming female emotions in check. I personally challenge each and every one of you to view this film and NOT leave the theatre a little happier than when you went in. Take some tissues, there will be heartstring tugging.

    Today's Mama Sarah Feature

    Now and then I like to do a little endorsement for Sarah and her delicious array of tasty foods. I enjoy them quite often. I'm going out on a limb by suggesting these chive and parsley potatoes, but as I was browsing Mama Sarah's I came across this simple and seemingly yummy recipe. I haven't even tried them yet, but I'm endorsing it anyway. Today I'm going to go home and make them and hope Sarah hasn't made a liar out of me. Give it a shot and I hope they satisfy your hunger like TARP is satisfying our national debt.

    Today's Pun

    Yesterday President Obama flew to Mexico to discuss drug cartels with Presidente Calderón in a joint press conference.

    That's it for this morning folks, enjoy what will hopefully be good weather wherever you may be and have a great weekend!


    1. i hadn't seen 'crank' nor heard of it until jake told me about it and then we watched it on a whim when his dad was over. it took me back to my days of browsing 'family video' for classics such as 'go', 'excess baggage' (which i never actually saw) and others like that.
      it's a fast paced roller coaster ride of terrifying emotions. #1 spoiler worth watching for; he bangs his chick in public. yeah....bad ass.

    2. Crank is a great movie. I hated Mulholland Dr. Glenn and I watched it with Beth years ago and once it ended Glenn and I looked at Beth for an explanation and she wouldn't give us a reasonable one. Interesting note about Mulholland Dr., it was supposed to be a tv show and then David Lynch tacked on the ending so that it made no sense and men everywhere hated it.

    3. Men loved the lesbian scene though.

      I saw State of Play at a free advance screening Tuesday night. It was good. Not as good as say Michael Clayton, but still good.

    4. crank is slang in the uk for crying while "wanking," or masturbating.

    5. Not true Glenn, I watched it with a bunch of guys and at one point it was stated "the only thing that would make this movie better is a lesbian scene." Then the lesbian scene happened but everyone had such a huge headache by that point it was decided it couldn't save the movie.

      OMG. I hate Mulholland Dr so much.

      Maddie.... then I will definitely see this movie. Crank + high voltage = terrifying and funny.

    6. Holy cow, Today's Pun is almost as good as fish puns!!! WTB KT