Good Morning OYIT [April 7, 2009]

By Katy

Good morning my lovelies! I was just thinking. Remember back when very few people had cell phones and pagers, so anyone who did was considered a drug dealer? I miss those days. The days where you could pinpoint everybody just from their accessories. From whores to valleys to skateboarders to the MAN. Days gone by. Also, I had a homemade chocolate chip scone yesterday that was TO DIE FOR.

Scone of the Day: Delicious.

Today's Weather

Everybody east of the Mississippi river is going to have one crappy day. It's either rain or snow or fog or rain. But you know what? It's about time. The East coast deserves a little sub-par weather to counteract all the pretentiousness they drizzle on us by the day. Guess who joined your East Coast dominated gay-marriage ranks? Which, BTW, you seem to be dropping out of pretty quickly. Mother fuckin' Iowa, yo. Enjoy your snow, bitches.

Today's Book Release

Corambis by Sarah Monette

This is apparently the 4th in some series. It looks pretty awful. Seriously, I started reading this insert and almost fell asleep. I would probably buy it just for the yummy man on the cover. All bare chested and chained up. Oh yeah...he wants it.

There's also a new Dresden Files being released today, which I also have never read. It's like, book eleven I think. I have heard from a chronic comic book reader that it's not a bad series. I'd consider giving it a try but Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was released early and I can't wait to crack that open. I hope this section was helpful so you know what not to read today.

Today's DVD Release

There are tons of DVDs coming out today, but I think we can all agree that Donkey Punch [Unrated] is the most important. It's the heartfelt story of seven friends traversing around on a yacht doing drugs and overindulging (possible?) in alcohol. They get all frisky and somehow, this friskiness kills one of them. So, they're all on drugs and stuff so they freak out like, a ton and then turn on each other (and NOT in the aforementioned "good way") and I'm assuming some people die. While the idea is certainly intriguing, I'm a little worried that donkey punching is going to be overplayed by the end credits. It's all for art though. Give this $22 DVD your best shot and then chuck it in the bin with Zombies Versus Vampires.

This Just In!

  • I just found out that Jake went to sleep at 12:34AM this morning, which is reportedly the earliest he's gone to bed since 1999. He needs some warm milk.

    Today's Disturbing and Unnecessary New Idea

    I've always wanted to do Christina Ricci, even through all of her extreme bodily changes. She's in fact, one of the first on my list-of-five-celebrities-I'm-allowed-to-sleep-with-should-I-meet-them-while-in-a-committed-relationship, of which I have about twelve. Then someone linked me this article which included this picture:

    Come on Christina. I stayed by your side even through Monster and this is what I get? Guess what, you don't make a very inciting redneck-trashy-dyke, you don't make a very good redneck-trashy-trashfest either.

    You can read the full article here but basically, Christina Ricci is going to be in Adam Sandler's new movie which is attempting to coin the phrase "pornedy." I don't know if anyone had the unfortunate opportunity to experience the sheer awfulness that was Zak and Miri Make a Porno but it was by far the worse thing I've ever seen come out of Kevin Smith. But to be fair, I haven't seen Jersey Girl. To even think that someone wants to take that concept and roll with it has brought tears to my eyes for the last three minutes. I think I'm going to sit this one out so my feelings towards Christina aren't damaged anymore than they've already been.

    Today's Stupid Word of the Day

  • Pornedy (adj)

    pronunciation key: way dumb.
    Definition: hella stupid.

    Have a great day all and try not to let the fall of arts and cinema get to you like it does to me. I need you happy souls out there making the world a little better so you can grow up to write, direct, and produce good movies. Go get 'em.


    1. Black Snake Moan was a good movie. Zack and Miri Make a Porno was an okay movie. Why can't we ever agree on anything!?

    2. Oh, and I went to bed so early because I was way drunk.

    3. We need porn in the mainstream about as much as we need Christianity.

    4. so is that a lot or not at all, Glenn?

    5. Look. If Christina Ricci had Ingrid's role in Casablanca and she looked like that. I'd skip that too.

      Point: I'd rather talk about curb stomping for fifteen solid minutes than see that beautiful girl reduced to trash.

    6. the beauty that is christina ricci (whom i've adored since 'adams family values') is that she can play trash, make trash and still get hired to do the shittiest or disturbingly engrossing (in a good way) movies any day of the fucking week.
      part of why i love rose mcgowan is she looks like christina ricci's luckier sister.


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