Thank Goodness it's Friday

By Jake

Let's take a trip in the greatest time machine, our memories, to October 8th of 1993. If you weren't born yet, then I truly pity you. You missed out on the greatest night of television of all time. ABC on Fridays wasn't just TV, it was an experience. It grabbed hold of you and didn't let go until you were nearly dead from laughter. Even NBC's famed Must-See TV lineup could not hold a candle to that of ABC's dominant TGIF. On top of that, TGIF had a superior theme song.

7:00 CST: Family Matters
Saved by the Urkel
Family Matters was a show that featured the lovable exploits of a black family and their wacky and nerdy neighbor in Chicago. Their neighbor was Steven Quincy Urkel, arguably the 90s greatest sitcom character. He had several catchphrases that you would commonly see graffitied on the ruins of dilapidated inner cities. "Did I do that?" and "Hey Laura, got any cheese?" were the questions that we'd always been afraid to ask...and then came Urkel.

This particular episode of Family Matters featured a very heart warming storyline. Carl Winslow, the patriarch of the Winslow family, needed to fix a lamp. When Urkel tries to offer him some very sound advice Carl brushes him off. That advice: unplug the lamp. Carl is electrocuted and the only person who knows CPR is, you guessed it, Steve Urkel. He resuscitates Carl and his family is very thankful. They are so thankful that they shower Urkel with gifts. Carl's children, Eddie and Laura, decide to learn CPR just in case their father electrocutes himself, or, in a more likely situation, has a heart attack.

7:30 CST: Boy Meets World
Father Knows Less
Boy Meets World is one of my favorite TGIF shows. It follows the Matthews family, with an emphasis on Cornelius "Cory" Matthews (the titular boy), Cory's troubled best friend Shawn Hunter and Mr. Feeny, Cory's teacher and next door neighbor. This was a perfect recipe for touching, thoughtful and hilarious television, the likes of which have not been seen since. I'd like you to keep in mind that the first season of Boy Meets World featured Cory's eventual wife Topanga, but to a far lesser degree than future episodes, so please refrain from complaining about leaving her out of the second sentence of this paragraph.

In Father Knows Less, Cory's father, Alan, allows Cory to stay up extremely late in order to watch a baseball game with him. During the next day of school Cory falls asleep during a test. Mr. Feeny will not let Cory make up this test, causing Alan to discuss this with Feeny. Life lessons are handed out like orange drink at a church ice cream social. This is one of my favorite episodes of BMW, and definitely my favorite early episode.

8:00 CST: Step By Step
Never on a Sunday
Step by Step was a Brady Bunch-esque sitcom about two divorced parents with three children each getting married, after meeting on a vacation in Jamaica, and turning two semi-large families into one Catholic sized family. Many children of the 1990s could sympathize with this sitcom due to the high divorce and birthrate of the time. In fact, my parents were divorced, but I never had any step siblings, so I never fully related to this program. I still watched it intently for its many compelling stories.

Never on a Sunday is about going to church, something I was never very fond of. Either is Frank, the father, who would rather watch the Green Bay Packers than sit in a Sunday service. Carol insists that he comes, but he has ill feeling toward pastors, which coupled with his love of football, is enough to make him pass. I don't particularly remember this episode, but I'd guess that in the end he ends up going to church and loves it.

8:30 CST: Hangin' With Mr. Cooper
School's a Drag
Mr. Cooper is a former NBA player and a substitute teacher/gym coach. He originally lived in a house with his childhood friend, Robin, and her friend Vanessa because they couldn't afford the house by themselves. Many people came through the house, including Raven-Symoné of That's So Raven fame. This show changed characters and directions so much that I can barely remember anything about it other than Mr. Cooper being a teacher. I still watched this show, but it was past my weekday bedtime of 8:30 so it probably felt like 3:00 AM to me, which is my current bedtime.

Since I don't give a shit about this show, I'm just going to copy and paste the synopsis from a Hangin' With Mr. Cooper episode guide. This episode guide is not the most well written thing I've seen, but I at least fixed the spelling errors.

Geneva has got a job as a music teacher at the High School. Mark tries to show her the ways around the school. They are getting a new principal and the rumor tells that she loves to fire people. It turns out to be Mark's sister's best friend, P.J. Moore. She says that Mark is the kind of teacher she hates.
Mark's schedule includes Driver's Ed. and he's not very happy about that. Mark drives the Driver's Ed. car home. Darnell takes it for a ride without Mark's permission. He accidentally hit a lawn mower and gives the owner Mark's name. The owner is going after the school.

Mark dresses up as a woman to play the role as the principal when they man is coming to the school. He wants a date with "P.J." (who Mark is pretending to be) at a karaoke bar. When they meet there, Mark gets him to sign the settlement. Then the real P.J. shows up. Mark tries to hide from her, but after a while she sees him. She realizes that Mark really loves teaching and doesn't fire him.

TGIF everybody!


  1. This is making my Friday worse. Where's the good morning post? What happened to all of our progressive female writers? Boy was this a trumped up theme week...

  2. [Mark Curry](Mr. Cooper of Hangin' with Mr. Cooper) Featured on G-Dep's Blast-Off (also featuring Loon)

    Yo, yo, uh
    Who's a nigga harder than me?
    On the boats, make it known how the slaughterin' be
    Damn, Curry ain't the shit? Put the name in your mouth
    Got it different? You ain't on what you talkin' about
    Bustin' off in her mouth, catch me
    I'm feelin' for whoever test me, pity for whoever second guess me
    Know how to manhandle it's real as it get
    Feelin' my shit, straight through the cealin' with this
    Bet your block love it, find me only with the grimy
    Gutters of the street where my mind be
    Play the game, get you a 'zil'
    Forever, put you until, it fit me to kill
    Heat, got it with me still
    Flip the game over, see me, we be, untouched
    Out like your motherfuckin' guns bust, BLAOW
    Sure shot, hit again, spit it grim, anytime, anyplace
    Bitch, I'm about to-

  3. Nate, I'm glad I could make your morning worse. That made my morning better.

    Bub, that's hilarious. I didn't know Mark Curry rapped, I just knew about his public service work about not forgetting your toothbrush.

  4. He's got mad skills - public & private sector!

  5. i was going to "talk some shit" here, but jake did just fine and i don't want to seem biased.

    i am very happy that bub opened up our eyes to the raps of mark curry - that's some hard shit. was "hangin' with mr.cooper" part of his public service work? (p.s. i've never, ever seen that show - but i did love that show with l.l. cool j)

  6. That synopsis of the HwMC episode is fucking hilarious, because it's as stupid and poorly written as the show itself.


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