Good morning from DC

By Glenn

Good morning from Washington DC, or technically the DC metro area of Alexandria, Virginia. Did you know that Washington DC (called "DC" by the people who live here) is the capital of the United States of America? That means the people we elect at a federal level all come here to meet and pass legislation. It's a big center for politics and government, and that's partially why I'm here. In DC, every morning means clogged traffic and the uneasy fear of a terrorist attack. We all remember the scene in Independence Day when the ship blows up the White House. That was terrible and I hope that never happens, and especially not while I'm here.

[Every time I'm in any big city I think about Independence Day. Those aliens killed so many people and the only way we were able to stop them was with that computer virus, which was sent from Jeff Goldblum's Apple to the alien's computer system. I don't know if they used Apple as well - perhaps it was AlienWare.]

Today's Weather
It's actually surprisingly cool here. I figured it would be hot here as tempers flare over political issues, but instead cool air coming in from the Pacific Ocean puts us today with a high of 65 degrees.

Today's Mayor
The Mayor of Washington DC right now is a wonderful man named Adrian Fenty. He's similar to Obama in the sense that they are both black, thoughtful, intelligent and popular. He's bald, while Barack Obama has some hair. Last night the local news discussed how people are wondering where Adrian Fenty is after he disappeared from the city. He's in Las Vegas for some sort of convention. Also, Fenty has done a lot to make DC more bicycle friendly, much as Obama did in this year's stimulus bill when he mandated that American transportation be at least 50% bike-driven by 2018 or when he took control of GM so he could run it out of business. Adrian Fenty and Barack Obama - the two big dogs of Washington DC!

Today's Controversy
I actually think today's controversy is more valid than most in our petty, gossip-driven media world. It has to do with Barack Obama giving the commencement address at Notre Dame yesterday. If you hate abortions as much as certain writers on this website, you probably thought Notre Dame, as a Catholic institution, were wrong to invite a President who supports a woman's right to choose an abortion. If you love abortions as much as other writers on this website, you're probably thrilled at the President could give a commencement address asking female college students to get abortions even when they want to bear children. If you're somewhere in the middle, you admire Catholic's zeal for life (and appreciate that, unlike evangelical Christians, they are pretty consistent) but wonder why this country still gives so much deference to religious leaders who are against things like condoms and birth control. There were a lot of protests at Notre Dame, but because Barack Obama is not a monster, the National Guard didn't kill anyone there.

Today's Prediction
I'll get a job by the end of this week, though it won't be in DC. Instead it'll be traveling around the country to different college campuses, directing the National Guard to give abortions to women against their will. When Adrian Fenty runs for president against Barack Obama in 2012, I will work with Obama to destroy him by stealing the seats off of people's bikes in DC.


  1. Fun Fact: Fenty's parents own a sneaker/fitness shop in DC!!

  2. I hope you figure out what you're going to do soon.

  3. i was in dc this morning and am going back tomorrow morning. it is way too cold in dc, but it's even colder in ny. you brought the coldness glenn!! also, you look like today's mayor.

  4. very informative and pro-DC. and abortion which is just a pro for all if you think about it.