Video Game Idea: Burning Planet

By Gary

Video games are pretty sweet. In fact, I like them more than I like most people. In fact, most people like video games more than they like me. Rightfully so..

So without further ado... I give you a rough outline of Burning Planet: The Wicked Comet

A young space marine named Jim Sparrows awakes on a space beach to a young girl giggling and knocking on his forehead. She is really cheerful. Jim knows nothing about her, himself, or the space beach he is on. Jim is pissed at her cheerfulness and is all like, "I don't need this shit". She's gets sad and she's all like "b-b-b-ut we the beach people of this beach planet need your help!?!?!!" Jim is pissed about it but he's like "ok but what is wrong with your beach planet looks nice enough to me.." She buries her head in her hands and goes "because..." she starts to cry and shit "because the beach planet that I love is BURNING!" Jim looks annoyed and goes "finally things get exciting around here..........lock and load ready to go! HERE WE GO AGAIN!" He pulls out a bad ass double barrel shotgun with a samurai sword on the end. Screen fades to title screen "BURNING PLANET". press start....

Then you go on the beach and there's all this stuff you gotta shoot. There are like these alien soldiers that are grey and buff. And the whole time Jim is making smart ass comments like "and I thought my mother-in-law was a bitch" and "I think blasting your face off improves your looks!". The young girl that you have to protect has a life bar and when she gets hurt she goes "ow please help me!" and when you shoot her she's all like "hey I'm not the bad guy silly!". After you make your way across the beach you get to a vehicle shop so you can get a vehicle to ride on that has a gun turret and land mine thrower. The owner is a master mechanic and he is really pissed that the girl brought Jim there. The mechanic is like, "why'd you bring this muscle head and risk the enemies following ya here?!?!?". But Jim is all like, "listen asshole I didn't ask to be on this burning space beach and I want off so you help me and I'll help your space beach...GOT IT!"

The mechanic respects Jim Sparrow now. And tells him, "an evil Corporation has sold out the planet. They were suppose to help us but now they let the aliens burn the planet for energy for their baddass guns and spaceships. And I am leading a group of guys to fight them and we just happening to be hiring!" ON SNAP. The mechanic tosses some keys to Jim and says "take my hogplasma tank-789 any time it gets broken down or you need to a new mission press start and find the purple icon. that's my shop and I can heal and repair the tank." Jim say "thanks but I don't plan on crashing anything unless its those aliens ship into their home planet! Listen I do whatever shit needs to be done but..." Right then a huge tentacle bust through the shop window. The camera zooms in on Jim's face...... He eats the light cigarette he was smoking and says "all in days work!"

to be continued....


  1. i would definitely play this game through the first level. possibly the second if i had nothing else to do. go with it!

  2. Haha. I was waiting for the second part to come up before reading this, but alas there was no part 2. This is funny and like so many video games that I've played.