Job Opportunity

By Bub
The following is an email exchange between myself and a generous individual offering me an unsolicited 'Job Opportunity'

friend,
====================================================
The Largest MLM Online is now in Pre Launch
====================================================

Hello,

The Biggest Launch of the History of Internet
THE MEMBERS THAT SIGN UP FIRST INTO THE 'NEXT
BIG THING' EARN THE MOST IN THE QUICKEST TIME!
IT'S A FACT!
SO, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ABLE TO JOIN THE NEXT HUGE
ONLINE MONEY-MAKING PROGRAM IN THE MOMENT IT LAUNCHES?

http://hotshorturl.com/yd73
And it is to launch in a few days.
Have an awesome day,

efadare
0322366278

Dear Ed Fare,

I am interested in your money launcher program. I like rockets and I spend money literally on a daily basis. If I could spend it quicker, say, at the speed of a rocket, it would free up so much of my time that I could spend my afternoons doing what I really want - sobbing in the graveyard.

I am trying to be as discreet about this email as I can - I've only read aloud every fifth word - still, I am not sure that my coworkers haven't deciphered my speech and are greedily lusting for money launchers of their own. But Ed, I want you to know I am in it for the long haul. I will quit my job right now if it means that I could free up those precious hours per day I currently waste completing financial transactions at a crippled Korean War veteran's pace.

If this money launching program takes off I am willing to make a total career change. I could even relocate to Wall Street or that place in Florida where they shoot off rockets when the timing is right. You just say the word, Ed. You are my Spiritual Mentor now. I know that is a big responsibility but only a man with ideas as big as yours can handle it.

I will spend the next three weeks memorizing the words of your email so that I am able to proselytize on street corners and NASA control booths the Word of our Lord. Of course this cannot happen until the program fully takes effect, which is why I am giving you exactly three weeks.

So make haste - send me a money order for more money than you need to send, allow me to cash it, and keep the difference. I will take this seed money and fly directly to space where I will attempt to acquire money launching technologies (probably from Chinese satellites) and return gloriously to Earth where we shall reign over a Kingdom of Peace for the next 1,000 years.

Your Faithful Servant,
Bub

3 comments:

  1. I haven't heard back yet but I will post updates.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so funny. I can't wait until he emails you back.

    Sidenote: Kaleena looks for jobs on Craigslist all the time, but is really bad at weeding out the scams. She's gotten fake money orders in the mail so many times.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha! That's bad but what is worse is when my Mom tries to cash them

    ReplyDelete

no more comments from spam bots. fuck off.

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