Life With Mikey [12-07-09]

By Mikey

My car is in the shop again. This means my wife has to give me rides to and from work. It also means no Arby's for lunch. I have to eat a roast beef sandwich that my wife makes, which is hardly Arby's. Plus, what about curly fries?

The music kids listen to today sounds like Michael Winslow having a Tourette attack.

I didn't see what was so funny about Napoleon Dynamite. That kid is retarded. What's funny about that? That movie made me feel bad.

When does the new Sade come out?

If I ever went back to school I would probably join a frat. They seem really fun in the movies.

Bon Jovi are touring in 2010. I don't know if I'll end up seeing them, but I know my wife and I would have a great time if we did.

Can someone tell me the difference between an ipod and an iphone?

A punching bag would be nice to have. Then I wouldn't punch the basement wall when I'm angry.

Tee ball is good for kids learning how to play baseball, but it's shameful to see adults playing it.

Tic Tacs are so small. I would have to eat at least 3 packs of them to get full.

I would never talk during a movie in a theater. They're just too expensive. If I wanted to pay $12 to hear somebody speak I would have went to see Mario Cantone at the Funny Bone.

Pool sharks sound more dangerous than they are. They're just people who play billiards really well, not actual sharks.

If global warming is real, how come it's still cold in December?

I'll go ahead and keep my VCR if it's all the same to you.

When the song "Cotton Eyed Joe" is on you might just see me dance a little. It'd be the only time.

Christmas is approaching fast, which means I'm going to have to shop for some toys of things I have never heard of. What in the world is a Bakugan?


  1. Sucks to hear about your car. My car has been giving me trouble too.

  2. An Ipod plays music and an iphone is a fucking phone. You want to talk about car trouble? I GOT HIT BY SOMEONE WHILE PARKED FRIDAY NIGHT. I CAN'T OPEN THE DRIVER'S SIDE DOOR NOW.

  3. Why don't people comment on LWM anymore? Is not commenting on Mikey the new Animal Collective and you jags are trying to be cool?

  4. You mean the "Cotton Eyed Joe" remix by Rednex? The original fiddle tune is fun to dance to, but I can't see you at a hoe down!

  5. the car in the shop is the story of my life, except my husband has to give me rides since i can't drive a manual, which means no taco bell. no tic tacs either. what's the point?!

  6. JAKE!!!!! i'm so sorry i haven't commented until now.

    i laughed out loud to the question about sade and the ipod one. i smiled out loud to all of them though. we used to warm up to "cotton eyed joe" (remix) in irish stepdancing class.

  7. ditto ipod, but i replaced 'sade' with 'p.m. dawn' in my mind. Mikey you'll never stop amusing us with your musings!

  8. ah're a dick

  9. j/ are dicks. not the awesome band 'the cars', just cars that we drive.
    you know what's even better than tee ball? tether ball. teach them too young though and you could have a giant meat-head jock-strap asshole on your hands.
    again...kidding. that's just an old wive's tale.

  10. the new sade comes out in 1991.

  11. Haha. Mikey knowing about Sade's new album is pretty on top of things. I just heard about it earlier this week myself. Mikey probably has a Google Alert for Sade. Probably one for "Arby's Coupon" too.


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