One Week In-tertainment (1-30-10)

By Jake

Now that Sarah Palin is an entertainer and not a politician, I can report on her and her idiotic family. Bristol Palin has vowed to not have sex until she is married.

Andy Dick was arrested for alleged sexual assault. I wish I could say that I'm surprised.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have still not split up.

Gary Coleman was arrested for domestic assault.

Jennifer Aniston donated $500,000 to Haiti.

TBS and David Spade are developing Joe Dirt: The Series. I guess Mikey finally got his wish.

Oscar nominations are coming out on February 2nd. Expect Glenn and I to make some predictions like we did last year

Kara Dioguardi and Katy Perry "clashed" on American Idols. Crashed is in quotes because I don't know what that means. Maybe they wore outfits that looked terrible next to each other.

Ugly Betty has been canceled, crushing the dreams of ugly people everywhere.

Ashley Tisdale reportedly (if you can call what does reporting) works out with a Blackberry in her hand. I don't know who she is but I hate her after reading this headline.

Peace to Our Fallen Homies
Jean Simmons
Pernell Roberts
Zelda Rubinstein
J.D. Salinger
Howard Zinn


  1. You forgot to mention that Willow Palin was caught smoking pot and doing other bad stuff! They do it for us, America.

  2. jay reatard is also dead.

    i laugh at bristol palin's new vow. once you've started doing it, it's impossible to stop.

  3. You're the reatard for not reading 2 weeks ago when he died.

  4. Holy Cow I didn't know Jay Reatard was dead!! (forgive me I never read OWE, just the comments)

  5. What the fuck? You're the one who asked me to bring it back. I quit.

  6. Hahah! I said 'People like OWE' which they do. As they do your Jeff Jones article. I don't dislike OWE, I just usually only am able to read the weeklies. And like you said if I ever needed the gist of OWE I could just read the headlines of Entertainment Weekly

  7. Please quit if it is any great stress to you!

  8. Haha! Thank you for caring so much about me Anonymous.

  9. don't listen to anonymous - never give up, never surrender! unless you're wrong, then you should just admit you're a loser and never try anything ever again.
    (but really, don't ditch OWE again!)

  10. why don't you have the balls to give us your name, anonymous?!?!?!?

    who is this mysterious troll??

  11. was i wrong in assuming that it was bub?!