One Week In-tertainment (2-27-10)

By Jake 

Bruce Willis said that there will be yet another Die Hard movie. Hopefully in this one he can team with an old lady to bring down the Taliban.

Billy Corgan and Jessica Simpson are 'just good friends,' not dating.

Boner from Growing Pains suicided.

People magazine quoted the Dali Lama as saying "Who's Tiger Woods?" Not only is that hilarious and ludicrous, but now I have a great idea for a remake of Who's Harry Crumb.

Harry Potter and Twilight the Vampire are dating.

Not only did Tiger Woods apologize to his wife (publicly), but he and his wife apologized to the parents at their son's school. I hope they apologize to me for having to hear about this so much.

Gary Busey just had a son?

Steven Tyler has rejoined Aerosmith and they are about to go on tour.

This was a slow news week. All of the stories were about engagements, break-ups, Angelina Jolie and late night burger binges. Head over to if that sounds enticing to you. Reading that shit gives me a headache. I'm going to go OD on Aspirin now.


  1. I think Billy Corgan and Jessica Simpson would be perfect for each other. Perhaps there's a way we could, as fans, make them realize this?

  2. suicided is my new favorite verb.

  3. also this week: a transvestite publicly vomited on susan sarandon.

  4. ditto, suicided is great, poor Boner though. Was he the nerdy one or the one with the mullet (somehow that isn't the nerdy one...)?