Good Morning, It's Time for Revolution!

By Katy

I have been sitting here at Job #2 for about three hours fuming about how Internet is no longer available at Job #1 based on the mistakes and negligence of a few employees who should have lost their Internet, rather than the entire center. However, the fuming helped me to realize I better get to writing before I'm Internet-less. So, it's Thursday night, but it's Good Morning Friday.

Today's Weather

Looks like we've got some bad weather crashing down on us today, in the form of a shit storm. A shit storm created by a lot of employees who have seen the final proverbial straw after paycuts, new health insurance, discontinuance of our 401K, and janitorial work followed by loads of disrespect, disregard, and snarky fucking e-mails from management. For everyone else though, it's lookin' pretty nice. Today I went outside without my gloves OR my hat OR my scarf. I'm crazy, I know. It's March. March is for madness. I'm mad at my employer. Moo.

Today's Theatrical Releases

  • Brooklyn's Finest (Rated R for who cares? Alice In Wonderland comes out today)

  • Synopsis: Eddie (Richard Gere), Tango (Don Cheade), and Sal (Ethan Hawke) are all cops about to cross paths. Eddie is a week away from retirement, Sal is struggling to care for his wife and seven kids, and Tango favors his friendship with a prisoner, Caz (Wesley Snipes), over his cop buddies. All three are set to meet on a crime scene set amidst the corrupt and drug-ridden streets of Brooklyn where I hope something happens. Apparently something about "destiny." This movie is destined to make less money than Alice in Wonderland.

    My Take: I've been a fan of cop shows for a long time, Law & Order, Cold Case, CSI,, etc., but I don't care a whole lot for cop shows. Picturing Richard Gere as a police officer seems kind of silly and Ethan Hawke taking care of seven kids is just sad. I'm sure this movie is decent, but I surely won't be seeing it as I'll be spending the entire day watching Alice in Wonderland repeatedly until I understand it/hate it.

  • Alice In Wonderland (Rated PG for kids and this quote straight from IMDB, "a smoking caterpillar.")

  • Synopsis: Even folks over 45 should know the general story of Alice in Wonderland. But Tim Burton just keeps on a truckin'. This story is about Alice (Mia Wasikowska) returning to Wonderland as a 19-year-old and reuniting with all the wonderful people she met on her first trip (that's trip, as in the play-on for taking a trip somewhere as well as a drug trip in which several people take drugs and take a drip through the imagination which is just like Wonderland).

    My Take: So, the other day I watched Alice, a three hour spin on this classic tale with a 21-year-old Alice venturing to bring back her love from the throws of the Queen of Hearts (Kathy Bates). It was insane. It was full of every type of cliche from every type of genre and mixed up with lots of crazy. It was awesome. But I was high. But it was awesome. So terribly awesome that I'm afraid it will outside the Alice in Wonderland I've been waiting so patiently for. I'll see it at my first available opportunity, but don't be surprised if this movie is ten times more disappointing than Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

    Today's Prediction:

    Jake will comment about how overrated Tim Burton is, while Maddie and Glenn will praise the amazing work I do as your Friday GM writer. James won't read this post. I will walk into my manager's office in the morning and explain to her how to speak to human beings over the age of ten, be promptly fired, filed for unemployment, then spend my remaining dollars on Alice in Wonderland. Being overcome in disappointment and the despair of losing my main income, I'll call Glenn and ask if I can live in California with him. Then I will.


    1. That Alice in Wonderland movie looks really awful like a Chinese New Year dragon vomitted confetti on Rip Taylor's grave. Brooklyn's Finest is supposed to be excellent, but I don't want to watch a movie starring Richard Gere. I guess I'll just have to watch my Ewoks DVD again this weekend.

    2. Jesus Katy, get the f*&*ing internet already!!!

    3. k8y, this GM SUCKS!!!!!

      jk!! i was trying to be mean so your prediction would be wrong, but the thought of hurting you is too much for me to bear. gr8, as always.

    4. It's okay, Maddie. This GM sucks.

    5. HAHA, THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK. I clicked on this article for the picture of a tornado and lightening.