Life With Mikey [3-15-10]

By Mikey 

I just spent all weekend helping my wife garden. Talk about an awful way to spend a weekend. I don't even like green peppers that much! I'll enjoy gardening when I can grow a hamburger tree.

I'm already excited to play some Marco Polo.

If chess is anything like checkers then I'm terrible at it.

I'm always cranky until I get a Big Breakfast in me.

Where have all of the storks gone?

Manatees are not as manly as their name would suggest. They sort of look like melting ice cream.

I have nightmares about the claw machine scene in Toy Story.

Just because a koala eats eucalyptus doesn't mean I want it in my soap, lotion or toothpaste. What does a koala know anyway? Nothing.

If you say "soups on" and there's no soup, you're a jerk.

Pineapples are prickly, which is why I rarely buy them fresh. It's usually chunks for me.

Hollywood is too busy making movies about people dying to make ones about people living.

Why doesn't Beetle Bailey ever move up rank? Is that how the army really is?

The way I make the world a better place is eating whole grain pasta every other time we have spaghetti.

Emilio Estevez could use a comeback.


  1. Would you shut up about the damn hamburger tree already?

  2. Your comment about Hollywood reminds me of a Dylan lyric from It's Alright Ma.

  3. Mikey, you're all over the place today! I don't even know where to start, so I'm just going to say this: Hollywood should make a movie about the death of Emilio Estevez's career.

  4. Damn it Mikey Beetle Baily isn't in the army you idiot, he's a f*$#ing Beetle!!

  5. "Hollywood is too busy making movies about people dying to make ones about people living."

    That's the most profound statement you've ever made, Mikey, and it's still way off. You should see Remember Me.

  6. mikey, how excited are you for TOY STORY 3?!?!

  7. Hell, I'm excited for Toy Story 3! Mikey must be going crazy.