One Week In-tertainment (3-13-10)

By Jake 

Jennifer Aniston to launch new signature fragrance possibly. It's as much news as any of this other shit.

Sandra Bullock not only won the Best Actress Oscar, but also brought home two Razzies. Way to go Sandy!

Other people also won Oscars.

Here's a link to an article entitled "LOL! Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin's Best Oscar Zingers."

Conan O'Brien is embarking on a 30 date comedy and music tour. Tickets are already sold out, I believe.

Cindy Crawford thanked the FBI for catching a blackmailer. She is very polite.

Lil' Wayne is now serving his one year sentence for gun possession. Free Weezy!

On the same day Lil' Wayne went to prison, T.I. (who is on the tail end of his year-long sentence in a halfway house) released a new single, "I'm Back."

In the story of the week, Heidi Montag has fired her husband, Spencer Pratt, as her manager and has hired (wait for it) a Malibu psychic to guide her career. I wonder why nobody has thought about this before. Oh yeah, because they aren't completely out of their fucking minds!

David Letterman's stalker pleaded guilty of extortion.

After a viral internet campaign, Betty White is set to host SNL on May 8th! Now if we could only use the internet for something positive, like masturbating to people getting fisted.

Celebrity asshole Katherine Heigl did not return to the set of Grey's Anatomy as promised. She was probably too busy badmouthing the show to the press, even though it's one of the highest rated shows on TV and the only reason she's even famous! Go make another shitty romantic comedy, you ungrateful idiot!

A bunch of lame celebrities (including Kate Gosselin) are going to be on Dancing with the Stars. I have a good idea for a show with the same name, but it's about a group of astronauts stationed near Saturn on a fueling station.

Dr. Drew Pinski is a huge asshole putting his name in the news at the expense of Corey Haim's death. "He should have done my show," the enormous prick said.

Peace to Our Fallen Homies
Corey Haim

3 comments:

  1. Ha!@ Cindy Crawford being polite

    ReplyDelete
  2. "A bunch of lame celebrities (including Kate Gosselin) are going to be on Dancing with the Stars. I have a good idea for a show with the same name, but it's about a group of astronauts stationed near Saturn on a fueling station."

    your best idea yet!

    ReplyDelete
  3. jake, you don't have to refer to me as "David Letterman's stalker." maddie is fine.

    ReplyDelete

no more comments from spam bots. fuck off.

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