One Week In-tertainment (3-20-10)

By Jake 

According to, Gerard Butler likes Jennifer Aniston's cupcakes. No, not her tits. Actual cupcakes. The desert.

Kendra Wilkinson want to make a cast of her boobs. This is an actual headline from Great site.

Jason Segal's new Muppet Movie has found a star-- Jason Segal. That came out of nowhere.

Avatar is coming back to the theater (I think it's still there anyway) with extra scenes. I see there point, it didn't make that much money.

Heidi Montags new manager-- a psychic-- uses his ability to channel healing energy to aid Montag's career. HAHAHAHAHA! Best story of the year.

I write this article throughout the week, not all at once. So here's a follow-up to the above story: Heidi Montag has already fired her psychic manager and will now be her own manager. Makes sense, she's super smart.

Sony made a big money deal with Michael Jackson's estate to release several albums of unreleased material.

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy have split up. Now when Heidi and Spencer split up who will be the ultimate douchebag couple?

David Schwimmer is engaged. Sorry ladies.

David Beckham is injured. Now nobody in America will watch soccer.

Spencer Pratt is leaving The Hills to fight cyber crime. Maybe he should make a TV show about fighting cyber crime. I'd watch that shit.

Jessica Simpson tells that John Mayer will "never have this napalm again." If her pussy is napalm, then John Mayer's dick must look like a Vietnamese child.

You can all rest easy, an arrest has been made in the Corey Haim/drug ring case. This was apparently a thing.

According to TMZ (who actually are fairly accurate, surprisingly), Fox is already pressuring affialites to clear the 11pm timeslot for Conan. I think that would get rid of local news, wouldn't it?

Tim Burton is going to direct an Adam's Family movie. I hate Tim Burton and I hate the Adam's Family. Do you know why they don't try to make a Munsters movie? Because people actually like The Munsters.

Peace to our Falled Homies
Peter Graves
Alex Chilton
Angelo Poffo (Macho Man Randy Savage's father)


  1. people--the humans, not the magazine--used to call me wednesday adams. and it's actually pretty normal to get your boobs casted!!

  2. I bet Lex Luger killed Randy Savage's father like he killed his ex- wife.

  3. I don't know why the pictures were all fucked up. I fixed it though. Good thing nobody reads this.

  4. what is heidi inspecting on herself? she's probably thinking of taking this whole plastic surgery thing up a notch and actually injecting fat back into herself so she can get skinny again and keep her "career" afloat.