eclipse movie trailer omgggggggggggggggggggg

By ashlee 

ok soooooo i was at my friend beths house and we were looking at utube videos (i always go to beths house to watch utube vids bc she has a computer in her room instead of in the living room where mine is and i always get yelled at for watching bieber videos lol i know soooooo annoying) when she showed me the best thing ever omg i am not lying 2 u

maybe i should start by saying that i hope u dont think i am a poser. i havent read the twilight books bc i just dont like reading v much. i got the first one on books on tape at the library but i got bored listening to the voices cos they are NOT the voices from the movie ...i can tell the difference this is NOT the real edward. but i have seen both movies at least like idk maybe 5 times which is a lot cos i usually dont get to watch movies unless its my moms workout videos bc she makes me do aerobics with her cos im big boned

if u havent guessed by now let me tell u what i saw.......the eclipse trailer... from the twilight movies. plz watch it right now i promise u will not regret it

ok first thing i hear is edward the vampires sexy voice and the first thing i see is this:
sooooo cute. the next shot kinda the same:
ok let me explain.....the reason i like these shots so much is bc they remind me of one of my all time favorite pics:
next we get the idiot blonde i dont care about saying something. idk and idc. then we get something rele important. bella and edward in a bed. yes in a bed i am not joking:

with this next pic i feel like i have died and gone to heaven. if i was in a bed w/ edward i would do a lot of the things i read about in my older sis's cosmogirl magazine hehehe 0:-)
then a bunch of boring stuff happens like bellas daddy saying stuff to her idk i wasnt rele listening. then....wait for it its the WOLF!!!!! jacob who i h8 but he does have a nice body. when i saw this i thought to myself, "ummm why do i care what hes saying? just show me his chest" LOL. jacob tells bella he loves her. i dont rele believe him cos once this guy in mrs. minors class told me he loved me but i found out l8r he just wanted me to touch his penis ummmm gross no thank u. i would only do that for edward heh :-P

this shot says "IT ALL BEGINS WITH A CHOICE," which i know my daddy says when he talks about abortion cos i know he is against choice lol does that mean hes team edward?? lol i hope so cos daddy is always right. at least that what he says to mommy
omg then the screen turns black . not going 2 lie i got a lil scared
then that dumb red headed b*tch comes back omg h8 her sooooo much. look at her flying through the sky what is she a bird? LOL
next they say some more stuff blah blah blah lol......then it hit me like my daddy does when i act out : a pic of jacob with his shirt off
okkkkkkkk lol pics like this make it kinda hard to be team edward

then when the 1 min and 30 secs (secs or sexs??? LOL) of pure heaven are over i see this:
which kind of reminded me of this bumper sticker daddy has on his car:

ok i g2g look at pics of puppies ttyl


  1. This was so funny. I predict this will be the all time most read article on OYIT by the end of summer.

  2. Holy Cow Ashlee, this was f*&^n' great!!

  3. your writing has matured immensely this semester. A+, or a solid B at least.

    btw, i think you might be interested in this article bitch magazine wrote about twilight. it's a must-read for any true fan!

  4. Ashlee, although I think you are legally retarded, your passion for Twilight is an inspiration for us all.

  5. OMG ashlee, edward is so hottt!!! i h8 bella lol! next time you come over we're watchign the jonas brothers movie again!

  6. Ashlee. You're everything I hate about everyone.

  7. as a die-hard twilight fan (or twihard to the REAL fans) i found this article informative and titilating (that's not meant in a sex way -EWWW!!!)
    i can't wait for the next one!! maybe you, me and beth could all go together! it would be soooooo aaawwweeessssooommmeee!

  8. Haha, this article is just a parody of Kaleena.


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